Twoness of a Gem

2011-10-16T00:01:00.002+08:00

Oh Lord, i am a full-fledged adult now. I am actually a grown, working woman. I need to get a grip with life. How messed up is this.

2011-07-26T23:39:00.004+08:00

Shameless woman. Go find your own man instead of trying to go after someone who evidently is already attached!

Her nerves. Seriously, damned bitch.

Volvo XC90

2011-07-24T22:47:00.005+08:00

Glorious moment I'll never forget. It was a nice drive. Thanks love ;) Looking forward to go to work with you in this car tomorrow morning.

Ahhh...i'm such a lucky girlfriend. Hehehe..

New Baby

2011-07-05T23:07:00.004+08:00

DB has a new baby.

IT IS A BB!

LOVE HIS PHONE!

Say no to Iphones, it is too common, though it is a really great gadget. This Blackberry Torch looks professional and it means business.

Afterall you ARE a busy man right, hun? ;)

On a side note, i'm reporting to work tmr. Wish me good luck, and good health for orientation day!

Hired!

2011-06-27T22:52:00.002+08:00

This morning, i made a really important decision, probably the biggest and the first towards my transition to a full-fledged adult.

I signed an employment agreement with a medical aesthetics company, and i intend to work hard to gain as much experience and skills i can get on the field.

I like the new CEO, whom i have had an interview with, and the rest of the people in the company seems to be very supportive.

I'm also glad that my friends and family have been behind me through this decision. Most of all, my beloved boy Azim, who encourages me constantly and giving me advice.

SO, here's to independence, money, freedom, and working life.

And say hello, to your new operations support executive. ;)

GUESS

2011-06-20T22:23:00.005+08:00

The beloved boyfriend got me a GUESS watch for my 22nd birthday...

I LOVE IT!

Swarovski crystals embedded around the dial, and the intricate design is just right with a hint of sophistication. How can i not love this present? It's special. So far, i have not seen it yet in watch retail outlets in Singapore. Because it wasn't bought in Singapore... but from the States!

Now i can go to work wearing a watch, and best of all, this watch seriously can grab anyone's attention, especially under lights...

Thanks darling. You're awesome. You are my very awesome bf that no other girl can have, no matter how hard she tries ;)

Happy times

2011-06-20T01:00:00.003+08:00

Like vultures, they made their move and advanced rapidly towards us. It was too late to turn back. These vultures, eager and hungry, preying on a young happy couple. Many times this has happened.

It was really funny that these vultures (actually, they are just salespersons) picked up vibes that me and him are planning our wedding soon enough, that they insisted that we come by and sit at their booths to listen to their wedding packages. Sorry, not in 5 years.

Do we look like we are happily engaged, or tying the knot in a month?

I do know for sure, that i am happy. Really happy.

2011-06-15T01:14:00.000+08:00

Dear future me,

It's past 1am now and that I was reading a first future letter dated a month back or so saying how I didn't want to finish up a Sociology paper and that I disliked Mika. Now, i take that back. She gave me an A and so she's off my back.

I have filed for graduation few weeks ago, so here's to your future success and that hoping this is the best decision i have made for you in time to come. Come 1st July, I will be employed in a private sector, also praying to do well in that exciting job coz it's not totally deskbound and i get to travel later part of the day so yeah, that doesn't sound so bad does it?

I will make this work, for your sake.

The Game

2011-05-02T12:10:00.003+08:00

Db is playing a little guessing game with me as he is taking me out on a surprise date to celebrate our 5th anniversary. Yes, it was last week but we were busy due to my exams and him with his own set of school load, so we are taking time this week then to rejoice! He's giving me vague clues so far for each day until our date, so i don't really know what's in for me!

Clues:

#1: Wear something thick, as it's going to be cold

(Hint - but not too casual)

#2: The Sultan's

(Hint - From an oil rich country)

#3: Busy, busy, busy canons

(Hint: But the fireworks are proof of their efforts)

#4: Near none

(Hint - Relativity. The medical term for 'difficulty sleeping')

#5: ON the locus 6.2km from RVR.

(Hint: Latitude 1, Longitude 103)

#6: A name, something you can find at the funfair.

(Hint - Kids get dizzy from this)

As of Wednesday the 4th i have already figured out the clue. Have you? ;)

2011-04-26T16:14:00.003+08:00

Questions i don't know how to answer that kept firing at me these days:

1) Are you voting this May?

2) Friends: Are you staying for honours?

3) PROF: Fadilah right, Y3, are YOU doing honours? *interrogative look*

Eeekks. Don't confront me these unanswerable questions pls. Future seems unclear.

Meanwhile....

WE TURN 5 TODAY!

Can't wait to celebrate our 5th anniversary! :))

26042006

2011-04-25T00:54:00.002+08:00

On Saturday, 23 April 2011, a promise was made to me. I was deeply touched by that gesture. It's just that i don't want to be imposing, and i want to make things better by myself. But that promise promises bigger things too great that i could never imagine what it would be like. Unless, i wait. To wait for that promise to be fulfilled.

And so, i hold on dearly to that promise made.

2011-04-21T03:06:00.002+08:00

So, as previously asked in my post, guess who came out in the newspaper? That's right. DB, of course!

DB did quite well in his AS level and so the school decided to put up his picture in the newspaper! Kembang sampai meletup lah..haha.

And...CONGRATS FOR THE A IN YOUR DIPLOMA!

*cue applause* ^,^

2011-04-14T13:20:00.002+08:00

Here's a demo video of the latest piano technology by Yamaha. I can't wait to go to the showroom in PS to find this baby and try for myself!

Once i start working for real i think i wanna save up for thisss!!!! And i just know which corner of my future home this baby will occupy. :))) *sigh*

2011-04-12T00:36:00.002+08:00

I have found a new love. I really love you, you sexy thing.

2011-04-10T01:26:00.003+08:00

It's past 1am and all i could think of is my future. So - the pre grad phase is probably more headache-inducing than being in school. I thought about what my dad said, since he encouraged me to take part-time courses while working. But, my brilliant head tells me i should just settle the things that i had most wanted to do since forever.

At the time being i am job-hunting online, looking at endless part/full time employment and to be frank the future looks daunting coz no one seems to have ever heard of Sociology as a discipline. It's always the same question, what do sociologists do? Well idk, we contemplate alot, maybe.

Some company called me in the wee morning few days ago when i was still sleeping like a rock in my dorm; it was raining outside and it was just so good i didn't want to get out of bed. With that morning hoarse sleepy voice the person spoke to me wanting to arrange an interview schedule for some position and personality test and all i could mutter was an OK. Heck i don't even know what position it was. But come what may... interview in May - my birthday month!

Actually, i just want to pick up where i left in music. Theory was long forgotten, and practice is as little as it can get now that my nephew BROKE MY 8-YEAR-OLD KEYBOARD. *Sob* It was stupid, really. I came home over the weekend only to find that the middle G and A note sounded off and there was a tonk-tonk noise underneath the two keys. HAIYAH, this sucks because middle notes are the most commonly played. Why didn't it spoil few octaves above instead?? Peefffff, means i got to invest in a new one.

Time for a new 88-key Clavinova perhaps?

So..work part/full time + take up some classes sound good enough for the moment.

Btw, guess who came out in the Malaysian newspaper recently? ;)))

2011-03-31T22:29:00.002+08:00

To future me,

Your old self is sitting at the desk, listening to Eenie Meenie by JB on loud. Having no desire at all to finish up the last hurdle of her sociology essay. Always remember, you dislike Mika. It is the last month to the end of school. And then this old self would be graduating, most probably. Let's see if i'm right.

2011-03-25T01:14:00.003+08:00

I was grumbling to his truly about how badly i did for Science of Music because of the fact that i couldn't appreciate the mathematics and science that structure the entire module. Get this, physicists calculate to the decimals just how much frequency an A note has (as a matter of fact ALL of the notes on the scale) INCLUSIVE of calculations and ratios between harmonics and wavelengths. As an arts student, all these numbers are just as useful as naught. I was so upset over my results that i had to bitch to DB about it. I mean, which pianist would think about numbers while playing? They play because notes ABC go together and sound harmonic, NOT because they sound mathematically agreeable! Well, in the attempt to cheer me up, this was what he had to say:

Pianist: This is how "A" sounds like. *Taps the key.
Scientist: This is how A sounds like. First, u calculate the wavelength. Then take the string's length and multiply with the thickness divide by the tension of string squared up my backside up through my asshole plus the number of hairs on my balding head... blah blah blah.. Thats "A".

Hands down, that's why i love him. ;)

2011-03-22T01:45:00.002+08:00

On a quiet lonely night, feeling sad or unhappy about something, i always turn to Moonlight Sonata for comfort. It always helps. What about you?

2011-03-19T20:17:00.003+08:00

I swear that my mum is the cutest EVER.

I was grocery shopping with her when the dad called to tell her to get some coffee. And over at the coffee section, i said dryly, "Why is it that our households are coffee addicts?". I was referring to practically EVERYONE in my house 'cept me.

I continued, " Everyone in the house drinks this coffee (pointing to brand XXX). Not like me. I prefer Starbucks."

At that moment, my mum said something really amusing:

"Kopi perasan!" (idk how to translate this, but the general idea is that drinking starbucks coffee to her is somewhat an expression of trying to be atas or sth)

HAHAHHAHAHA it was a really WTF moment i burst out laughing real loudly. I couldn't help it!

After helping her pay for the groceries, i went over to Starbucks to see if it was full. There were some empty seats and so i decided to head there for the night to do some work. Mum stopped behind me and i told her that i would be sitting there and she can make her way home.

"Brape kopi Starbucks tu? $5?" (How much is the coffee? Five?)

"Tak mak, dah naik da. $6." (No mum, it's $6 now.// Yes, we all know it's above that price for a frap BUT for the sake of pleasing my mum i said what i had to)

Then, my mum left with her groceries and reminded me to come home quick.

Sitting here with my White Chocolate Mocha, I am still surprised that she did not stop me. Hahaha...seems like she is giving in to me now...

2011-03-17T23:00:00.002+08:00

So yes, i have changed a lot over the span of 5 years. I am still me, but a much more different person than i was 5 years ago. For those who had known me way before, they would probably understand when i say that i have changed.

Change is just a matter of perspective. I'm just glad that i have changed.

2011-03-13T01:59:00.002+08:00

Ok, i'm here just to let off some steam. What's with people who chat with you, and then not replying to your replies thereafter?

Is it because

1) Your computer crashed?
2) You got so engrossed with the TV/went off to eat/shower/run errands
3) Can't be bothered to reply back when obviously you started talking to someone in the first place?

YES, this is the VIRTUAL world BUT have some sense and consideration for others. Nobody likes waiting, right?

Going Gaga over Pop Culture

2011-02-25T11:35:00.024+08:00

Look who's here to make a grand entrance at the 53rd Grammy Awards in Los Angeles recently?

Who would have guessed? Lady Gaga! Talk about being egg-centric, huh?

I was inspired to talk about Lady Gaga, a rising pop icon infamous for her unconventional taste in fashion and her very expressive attitude toward the arts as shown in her music videos. I got hooked on Just Dance (and as any of her other hits Bad Romance, Poker Face, Alejandro) when i first heard it, but when i looked at her MVs i realized just how heavily symbolic the contents are which i felt were quite controversial. Even outside of her music scene, Lady Gaga tries to represent art and fashion in her own way, as she put it in an interview: "avant-garde fashion".

Looking at her clothes, i thought it was simply strange (i could not appreciate her fashion taste) and thus, made a quick search for "avant-garde". Here is a concise definition which i found:

(also avant garde, avantgarde); French, lit. "advance guard" (see avant + guard). Used in English 15c.-18c. in a literal, military sense; borrowed again 1910 as an artistic term for "pioneers or innovators of a particular period."

This reminded me very much of Bourdieu's work on distinction and taste judgment. Lady Gaga is appearing to distinguish herself from mainstream artists by making her own interpretation of avant-garde fashion, incorporating arts culture into her persona as a pop icon in order to stay "appealing" to the masses.

From the way i see it, making it big into the entertainment industry (especially in Hollywood!) is not a game at random, of accidental chances or luck. While some of these elements might play a part, I think it is essentially about the entertainer's great effort to create an unforgettable imprint of himself/herself in the music industry which is constantly dynamic. The entertainment industry is a vast pool of talent. One climbs up the ranking by becoming famous and known over radios, televisions and topping music charts for consecutive weeks around the world. Everybody has heard of the artist, has seen the artist and his/her name pass on the lips and ears of avid followers. The artist amasses fanatic enthusiasts, a sure sign of shooting to stardom. Either make that lasting impression, or make tabloids with the paparazzi to ride on the fame. But not for long, as any dazzling star is bound to lose its shine.

That was what i realized in most famous singers - they sparked like a meteor at one moment and then became forgettable the next. Only some left their marks and became legendary after their time (think MJ, Madonna to name a few). So where does Lady Gaga fit in all this?

In all her avant-garde ways, i must say that with much success not only did she create a huge accomplishment for her music, but also in constructing her identity as pioneering artist in a fashionable sense. This identity of being different, new and innovative has been mediated through her body, an important indicator of her physicality, using objects and other commodities to show herself as someone unique to the industry. Have you seen her in a meat dress?? In styling herself in such strange manners, she made herself so stark and memorable in comparison to her other famous counterparts. I wondered why Gaga chose avant-garde to represent herself. Is she trying to emulate something in society? Like maybe, high culture?

A further search into the concept of avant-garde brought me to shocking findings which i would be quoting here, for fear of plagiarism (!!!). I believe this is the writings from a book called The Origin of Avant-garde by Irmeli Hautamaki.

The concept avant-garde is also closely connected with bohemia. Bohemia meant a life-style which artists embraced in the second half of the 19th century in big cities, especially Paris, and with which they differentiated themselves from the life-style of the bourgeoisie...Because of its antagonistic position to the mainstream or bourgeois culture, bohemia was a striking cultural opposition at the end of the 1800’s. This implies that the bohemian life-style and culture can be regarded as the third cultural dimension to the concept of avant-garde.

Imagine my revelation! Would it now make a lot of sense, why Lady Gaga dresses that way? Not only is she trying to make a distinction of herself, she might actually be rejecting mainstream culture which is the norm. Though, i'm not so sure about the bourgeois part because the way she dresses in her music videos appear to emulate high society. I shall look into her MVs to explain this.

Back to my earlier point before, that i found her videos heavily laden with symbols that i felt were controversial. In what ways? If you haven't seen her MVs yet, i would recommend you to do so in order to understand what are the points i am getting at. Here are some of her more popular hits from her albums.

Warning: Explicit content

True to the title of her first album Fame, the theme that resonates most across her songs is about money and fame. Notice the settings, details and the signs. Her videos showed extravagance and lavishness, with all the bling-bling and money; note in Paparazzi how money were strewn over the bed and floor, what's more, Gaga's face on the bills! (Have faith in money, have faith in Gaga O followers). In Beautiful Dirty Rich money were thrown on the floor, placed in heaps on the table and Gaga writhing on them. Later on you'll see her smoking, burning and consuming money!!! Even in Bad Romance, Gaga was supposedly sold to the highest bidder of the mafia.

What are all these telling us? That money is so highly dispensable to the bourgeoisie? Even if avant-garde is defined to be a marked distinction of rejecting/opposing bourgeois culture, Gaga's videos do not appear to show likewise. At some point i thought that maybe she is not emulating high society but rather, making a parody of them by showing money as a commodity so vapid and superfluous to their needs so much so that it is symbolically thrown around without so much as a use-value. What do you think? Paradoxically though, Gaga's "avant-garde" stance and her catchy tunes shot her to immediate stardom, a life full of fame and of course, money. Is she not one of them now?

Another question i raised myself was this. Why is this avant-garde mode such a successful frame for this new pop icon? Or could it be just that the paparazzis are having so much fun making tabloids and keeping tabs on her antics that produced her glory? (Sidenote on Paparazzi lyrical: 'I'm your biggest fan i'll follow you until you love me, paparazzi' Isn't that also quite ironical enough haha). Let me backtrack a bit and quote Irmeli Hautamaki in his book:

Avant-garde was mentioned for the first time in connection with art in the political programs of French utopian socialists in the beginning of the 19th century. Henri de Saint-Simon was the famous figure who suggested that, in order to transform modern industrialized society, it would be only necessary to gather together a group of leading intellectuals, scientists and artists, and join then with industrials; this leader group would then make the future ideal state a reality. Saint-Simon valued artists very highly because, as “men of imagination,” they were capable not of only foreseeing the future but also of showing others what the future ideal state would be like.

*gasp* Are you thinking what i'm thinking?

Lady Gaga = advocate of avant-garde = success/money/fame in Hollywood = coincidence?

I feel like somewhere along this chain, there is a missing link. This missing link i think, is the ever emerging group of capitalist-minded producers/record companies who rationally calculate and thrive at every profiteering opportunity they can get their hands on. That accounts for why i mentioned earlier in my post that the entertainment industry is not a game at random, of accidental chances or luck.

I feel that Gaga is roped in to be the puppetry of the entertainment industry, and essentially of the wider capitalistic systems, to disseminate a certain propaganda in the interests of the ruling class, as also shown in the excessive indulgence and lavish consumption through her videos. These are really strong visual cues to the subconscious minds. Also, the fact that these messages are slightly nuanced and is open to many subjectivities therefore making it hard to really decipher what is the motif behind the videos (watch Alejandro, i couldn't help but notice how religion and the military had been perversed here, plus the video is quite creepy). Though, i offer you an extra read here to take it further in analysing Gaga's videos if you are interested. Basically, word has it circulating that Lady Gaga is part of the illuminati as with other celebrities and responsible for propagating certain ideologies of the elite.

In any case, it appears that Lady G and her avant-garde ways are really working out for her, for the benefits of the record companies and generally, for mass consumption as a whole. Doesn't it seem a win-win situation for all? Is this (read: capitalism) the IDEAL future state?

Meanwhile, all hail the new pop queen.

more in store

2011-02-12T23:10:00.002+08:00

I'm listening on replay, a particular song DB dedicated to me the other. Thanks DB, i love it =)

This week appears to have more news coming up, good news that is, for him. Well, he's now crowned model student in school for BS, and his written exam answers were typed out for the whole school as a model answer for his fellow mates. I can just imagine him so kembang uh. haha

So now even the head of marketing is buddying with him, wanting to put DB's picture up a huge banner outside the school (LOL) and making a ploy at the same time, to match-make him with a malay junior girl bound to join the college in April. Background info: apparently DB is the only malay guy in the college, would you believe it?? Anyway, banyak peh mase die nak jodohkan orang? Haven't he got any work to do?

And maybe about one hour ago, I don't know what to say or how to react when i found out that Subway replied to you. I can't believe you got through the first round of the interview! I hope later on at Pulai Resort even better news await you...

I'm happy that things are looking up for you, hun. With the recent deal, and upcoming ones with the captain, may all the things you wish for materialise.

p.s - don't forget to inform those two minah gatal 7/11 cashiers that you're not single k? ;)

The unexpected happened

2011-01-31T00:14:00.005+08:00

For topping your school & Malaysia for Business Studies AS level,

Congratulations DB!!!

You probably don't know how proud i am of you because i most likely didn't show it. BUT I AM ABSOLUTELY PROUD OF YOU.

I think you deserve a really goooood treat from me ;)

So here's wishing to my boy, the best of successes in your own stride and that you'll get to where you need to go.

2011-01-25T12:41:00.002+08:00

Someone really disgusting left her dirty bowls unwashed at the sink. It has been 2 days. Yes, TWO. The stench is hanging in the air and last i went into the kitchen, i saw flies around the sink.

Such girls exist, huh?

Anyway, i left her a post-it message over the countertop. If she doesn't clear her junk, i'll throw her bowl, fork and spoon by tonight.

2011-01-22T23:07:00.002+08:00

You know your boyfriend is sweet, when he goes out of his way to fetch you in the pouring rain from school to home, just to be your umbrella boy.

Well I know my boyfriend is sweet, when he comes all the way up to my dorm with food and medicine in hand, just to nurse me back to health. :))

First week of Semester

2011-01-14T12:00:00.006+08:00

Back to school! It's been a pretty short holiday period last December. But thankfully the new semester is here, else i'll rot my brain.

So, as most of my close buddies would already know, i am actually a hall kid this year. 2011 is certainly a new beginning for me. This is also probably my last semester in NUS. But we shall see what this semester brings me.

I am currently residing in Ridge View Residences (Tower Block). Ok, not exactly hall, but it's much nicer to say "I'm living in hall" than "I'm in living in residence". So far this week was spent endlessly moving stuffs from my room and into my dorm. It was tiring but overall, it's looking up! Here are some pictures of my new place:

My dorm room is up on a pretty high floor, as you can see in above - count 6 stories up, two from right. That's my window! hahaha. I got a very wonderful view of the University Hall, some Science Fac buildings, the stadium and the AYE. I think i'm pretty lucky.

Cleaning, tidying, arranging, stocking up and now the place is fit for living. I know i'll be spending a whole lot of time in here. Freedom is finally mine.

2011-01-10T00:41:00.006+08:00

It is my last night here today. I'm home, but won't be so as often as i would from tomorrow onwards.

I'm packed (sort of anyway) and ready to go. Hello, Monday - bring it on.

What makes men sexy?

2011-01-09T23:26:00.000+08:00

What i think makes a guy sexy...

1) is when he knows his way around. Someone so well-acquainted with his surroundings, and able to get his bearings right no matter where is. Whether it is direction-related, or about carrying himself appropriately when the occasion arises. A man like this would ensure comfort and safety.

2) is when he drives a manual car. Weird and crazy, i know! But, there's something about a well disciplined man who toys with the gear that makes him very admirable. He could drive the commonly used auto nowadays, but so do women! What tells a man apart from a woman is the way he takes the road and at the same time, be in complete control. Coming from a male-dominated family, this is what i have come to learn.

3) is when he can especially cook and maybe, clean. And i mean, whip up a storm in the kitchen! Where it is supposed to be the womens' domain, having a guy who doesn't mind having his hands busy and dirty cleaning the dishes, appears to be a quite desirable characteristic in the opposite gender. If more men could be like this, i'ld say long last marriages and happier women and couples!

4) is when he does not know that is he a cool guy. He could act all goofy and funny or stupid, yet his normal self so composed and down-to-earth. One look at him and you would say, "Ah, he is a cool guy. Cool dude" without him trying so hard to be like one. This is really sexy.

5) is when he knows how to treat his woman, or any other girl, the way she should deserve. This is not only expected, but also a way of showing respect for ladies. When i see this in a man, it is a complete plus point for him.

6) is his physique! Let's not deny this - men with toned arms, with a slightly muscled built just proportionate to his size is always a welcoming sight to the eyes. Plus plus point would be a good-looking face to complete the whole package.

7) his personality...matched with good looks, all is near perfect! :D

Grandular Spectacular

2011-01-04T01:57:00.005+08:00

How was your last few days of 2010? I bet there were so many parties, gatherings and dinners to attend! As for me, i think it was pretty quiet. Nonetheless, memorable. Hours leading up to midnight on December 31st, i went to Popeyes for some tasty dinner, and headed to Marina for fireworks. It was different compared to last year when DB and i celebrated 2010 together, having had dinner at Pizza Hut and then going to Esplanade, arms in arms marveling at the beautiful night sky. It was wonderful. But 2011 had been different. A different start to a different year.

Though DB and i were rather far on NYE, i was glad that we had the chance to have our own advance celebration. The night before NYE was absolutely fantastic! I got tickets to Voyage de la Vie, thanks to a very awesome girlfriend. And so, i brought DB out on a surprise date, with me doing the planning. We had dinner at Secret Recipe, and there after we took the Skytrain to Sentosa. It was a special date because not only did we celebrate our anniversary, it was the first time DB and I sat down to watch a theater musical together as a couple.

It was really cute because DB had not the faintest idea what we were going to watch that night, and every now and then he would drop questions about the plan hoping that i wouldn't notice and blurt things out. But of course i'm better than that! Hah. As we got down the escalator towards the Casino, or rather Festive Grand, it was then DB noticed the huge poster and asked bluntly "Are we going to watch Voyage de la vie?". What was REALLY funny was how he said it! It sounded like a little kid asking innocently if he could have an extra candy. I couldn't hold my excitement anymore and i HAVE to tell him. "YES, we're gonna watch that tonight!"

Lucky us, we got good seats right beside the VIP stalls and enjoyed the great show. So so great and spectacular, i can't describe it in words because it wouldn't do justice. So if you haven't already, go catch it!

2011-01-03T01:28:00.003+08:00

I'm one of those people who conjure up more mental conversations in the head, failing to verbally materialise them 100 percent of the time.

Just another saturday?

2011-01-01T12:45:00.004+08:00

Happy new year! Selamat tahun baru! Bonne année! Good morning world...Let's start new again, with a clean slate! Guess what greeted me today when i opened my eyes?

It is my package from Hong Kong, bought 2 weeks ago online! I was so terrified that the package would be lost and i would have wasted money on it. This is my first online buy you see. I was just being paranoid. Silly me. Haha..

It is actually an OEM battery for my Motorola V3, used for my malaysian number.

Ok, i am going for lunch now. Maybe later heading to Bukit Indah, JB. Have a good weekend ahead guys!

2010-12-26T19:03:00.003+08:00

Happy anniversary db :))

I hope that you pass your ippt with flying colours this wednesday so that you could be promoted to Sergeant rank by this year-end. That would be a truly sweet end to 2010.

lotsa love,

mdb

Xmas surprises

2010-12-24T11:42:00.003+08:00

So, yesterday afternoon me and a good friend hit town for a movie date. It has been ages though we practically live in the same area and schooling in the same place! She wanted to watch Gulliver's Travels and since her belated birthday was not so recent ago i thought of treating her.

We first went to Fish & Co. for a quiet lunch at Heeren. Bad service but good food. I ordered the New York Fish and Chips. Ok, not bad but after a while the taste gets pretty icky in your mouth. My friend ordered the usual Peri Peri grilled fish served with rice and it's quite good!

After lunch we window-shopped a little and headed to the movie theater. Gulliver's Travels is an OK movie - funny, of course, when you have Jack Black in it and i think this movie stayed quite closely to the tale itself. But the theater sucks and thank god i paid student price for our tickets. Hahaha...

After movie, we both went to Pandora's Box to see if the bags we fancied were still sitting nicely on the display. We were previously contemplating of buying it together. One was cream white and the other was startling red. I chose the red one because weirdly enough, i found out i could carry bright colors! =D It's a gift, as my friend told me. The deal was that if we both go back to the shop after the movie and see that the bags are still there, that would mean they are ours to take. We went back and true enough the bags were still there! They were the last pieces and one-of-its-kind. 30 minutes of contemplation later, we finally bought it together. Oh, we saw two pondans in the shopping centre, one of which wasn't wearing any bra and we could see her fake tits through her shirt. Hahaha.

Next stop, we went to Old Town where i introduced my friend to the famous Iced chocolate and man was i brought to heaven for a while. We saw Mark Lee sitting at the other booth, and we saw Singapore Idol mean judge, at 313 Somerset.

My friend wanted to check out F21 and Mango and it was then i found out two things from her.

1) Her bff knew the guy who picked me up last year. We bitched so much about him. How small this world really is.

2) My ex hit on her right after we broke up.

HELLO. That is the biggest NO-NO. I can't believe he got the balls to pick up the same friend whom i introduced to, and after we called it quits, he made a move on MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND?? In retrospect, i understand now why i was asked to pool dates together before when i thought how awkward it would be to meet the ex after we broke things off.

So, that was my early pre-xmas revelation. I felt grateful that my friend told me about it, though only much later. The ex whom i thought to be the most innocent, naive and gentlemanly wasn't so much like that afterall.

Now, i wonder what else hadn't i known..

Bowling

2010-12-16T00:09:00.002+08:00

Today, i went out for some bowling with DB. Been quite some time since i bowled. Truth is, i suck at bowling.

After breakfast, we went to HTNS and played 3 games. At first, we were both pretty rusty but after the warm up, we gradually became better. Naturally, DB beat me in all 3 games and i had to forfeit twice the punishment because we made an earlier deal: Our scores should not differ beyond 50 in total. And quite amazingly, i managed to double up the stake and lost him to about 80 points! Sheesh. But i made my own personal improvements today so i'm pretty happy about that :)

After bowling we made our way to Starbucks and sat ourselves with a lovely DCM for me (as per usual) and a PMF for him. I told him that i would faithfully stick to DCM since it's Xmas and their special DCM only comes up in December, meaning that i would have as much as 11 DCMs this month if that could make up for 11 fraps for the next 11 months! Hahaha i think i sound like a crazy DCM addict already.

DB taught me how to shop online, because i wasn't sure exactly how to make safe online transactions. Several clicks later i finally learnt, which wasn't so bad. Moving on, after a nice long talk over coffee, DB gave me a red rose that magically appeared from his bag. And as usual, i love it!

An ode to Love

2010-12-03T14:41:00.005+08:00

Dear DB,

It's been a long time since we go out on consecutive dates, and it momentarily allowed me to feel what it was like for those couples who meet their partners every.single.day. without fail. Not that it is a good/bad thing but i thought to myself, "Hey, this could do us good once in a while. Afterall this LDR thing going on between us for the past year hasn't seen most of us together." That's right. It had always been you and me, on our own doing our own things and stuffs, and yeah, in fact i missed that old couple-y days. When we had the time for dates, we always ran out of time anyway. So, these 3 days were awesome for i get to spend them exclusively with you. Thanks for making it memorable! Thanks for Easy A, and HPDH. I'll be sure to bring you out for part II next year. I realised too, that i haven't been dedicated to posting our pictures up. Well, here they are!

Special lunch date at Bistro Delifrance, courtesy of DB ;)

Do you know how i felt when you told me that you were going up to Perak and KL for the week? I was actually a little sad, because i know then we would be far, far away. Like you said, 500 odd km away from me. And you, to be driving when you were having that flu? I was worried. But each time i received your smses in my malaysian number, i felt relieved knowing that you were alright, and having a good time upstate.

I'm glad you're now safely home from Perak and KL. Must be a looong drive, huh? Rest well tonight Hun, for i will see you tomorrow. Actually..i can't wait to see what goodies you got me from Cameron Highlands!!! Well, if you think you're the only one here with surprises for me, you're wrong. I have some surprises for you too! Here's one of them:

Remember, right after i sent you off at Kranji and i left to the bank? Well, i changed cards and got this classy-looking thing instead:

Do you know what that means? The era of online shopping is finally here for me.

oh heck yeah, baby.

Heh. Ok, i know you're asleep now. Sweet dreams ;)

super sunday

2010-11-15T00:08:00.002+08:00

Today, i attended a friend's wedding and it was great - because i met old friends from school. Anyway, cakap pasal kahwin, be assured that i am NOT the next one. Hahaha.

I know for sure though, that my cousin in Pontian is getting engaged this Xmas. Happy for her because - finally! She's reaching 27 already. Speaking of Xmas, i've already 2 tentative dinner plans and one invitation to a bar in town.

So many things to look forward to in December. Now, if we could just skip the exams part a bit, all would be fine and dandy.

p.s - Maybe it's time that i buy that camera.

let down meltdown

2010-11-05T10:11:00.002+08:00

Let me be frank and honest about something here.

If someone, say a friend needs me or wants favours from me, i would be willing to be there and help to the best that i can. Bottomline is - i'm there for you. I'm there for you because i care.

Would it be too hard then, for you to do the same?

Don't expect that Fadilah Alias is just another walking figure for you to solely depend on when you need help and comfort, and just leave when you think that need is fulfilled. I'm not a fucking dog. If i am willing to go out of my way for you, it means something and you better know it.

2010-10-20T23:07:00.002+08:00

I need a breather away from all things where i can pour all those things i feel need to be let out - and realise that i haven't updated in a while.

So this semester is really crazy. I have heavy socie modules and it does not really help that lectures proceed on rapid fire the minute i take a seat because we take down our own notes. No longer do profs spoon feed us with slides. I think i took that for granted during lower level mods. But now, amidst all the craziness - some good friends are away on exchange and i feel pretty much lonely in school. I don't see familiar faces much along the Arts walkway but that doesn't really bother me. I just wish i was somewhat in the same place as my friends are now but circumstances don't allow.

And so i got really sad. Really depressed. Not just about school, but about my relationship. I felt saddened by the fact that i missed him so much yet there is little we can do because he is now sitting for important exams and i am well..pretty much busy too rushing assignments and readings. I took comfort in his assurance, as i wept before him and told him of my sorrows and fears. It's been some time since i get touchy-feely about this because the last time i became like that was prior to him leaving me for studies. I guess i need the courage and faith back in me, to put on a brave front that everything will be alright for me. That all this will work its way out and eventually end on a happy note. I do hope for that.

I'll be meeting him tomorrow and we are setting a study date together at my campus. I think it'll be a great day :))

On a much happier tone, the past few weeks had been great - new relationships bonded over with friends. I went over Serena's place where i taught the girls pool, tried tennis, swam, soaked in the jacuzzi and the furobath. I made a mistake going into that furobath because my forehead broke out into pimples the next day. But somehow it made my skin glow, which is good and healthy! We had study sessions and well, shared secrets and all.

In more ways than 1, this semester had been challenging for some of my uni friends too..some struggling with health concerns which thankfully got treated to and relationship problems. Relationship's a tougher one here. No amount of essay writing/argument/scholarly lit review would help solve relationship problems. Because one doesn't think with the head. Think from the heart. But yeah ideally, use both.

I have been doing up plans way in advance, im talking about years here, and i don't know if i can have the opportunity to fulfill them. I wish i could.

Oh at a random sidenote - i came to realize that many, many people actually preferred me with my old hairstyle because it is apparently me. But it's done now so i'll just have to wait for it to grow back.

To all those, especially my friends reading this, i hope that you find your resolutions to your problems..Be patient, time would reveal everything.

To Azim, see you in a bit when daylight comes. Love you many, many. *Muacks*

Have you met....Alesha?

2010-09-26T23:37:00.003+08:00

Round of applause, dear readers, for my new niece!

Meet Alesha Kysara, the first daughter of my second brother. She was born in Thompson Medical Centre via normal delivery on the 8th September (08/09/10).

I forgot her weight, but what struck me was her length - a whopping 50 cm! That's a very stark comparison to my youngest nephew Joshua Ilhammi who was only 38cm then. Hopefully, Alesha would be a great, intelligent kid when she grows up, just like her Aunt Dilah! hahaaa :))

meeting you halfway

2010-09-15T01:40:00.002+08:00

This is apt, real apt - just plainly echoing the situation i am faced with. It's tough love. But all the same, things will work out if they choose to. Or maybe, if we choose to work things out. Like damn, how i found myself to be ridiculously smiling at some point in time of the movie. The familiar words, the familiar situation. It was like re-visiting those moments. Moments i shared with DB throughout the course of this relationship. We never had it easy. But for what it's worth, we hang on to it.

Hari Raya 2010

2010-09-08T00:35:00.003+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya to all my friends..whether or not you have forgotten me or for other reasons. I'm only human, and bound to make mistakes too, so forgive me all for my shortcomings. It's a new day again, let us all start with a clean slate.

Much love,

Fad/Dilah/Fardde

p.s - I'm an aunt, again! Next blog update will tell you more of that!

August Rush

2010-08-31T20:20:00.004+08:00

HELLO readers!

Yes, i've just realised that i haven't updated for about 2 weeks now. SO, expect a long one this time. Here's what been occupying me lately.

Highlight of the month

I was involved with the Youth Olympic Games, the first of its kind to be held in history! Yes, who would have thought that Singapore would win the hosting bid. But we did back in 2008. So, prior to the Games, there were several training sessions to go for and there were so much new stuffs to learn about each of the aspects involved in the YOG programme. I signed up via my French professor since a year ago, and got involved with the Singapore Friendship Camp. Afterwhich, i followed through with the Games.

As Youth Interpreter, i learnt new stuffs from athletes themselves when i was placed in certain situations. One such example was the time i got despatched to the Medical Clinic in the Youth Olympic Village (YOV), where this particular football captain of Haiti was having problems with his fractured foot. It was so, so hard to communicate with him. To my untrained ears, he was talking almost gibberish French. That situation threw me into 3 hours of struggle to comprehend him, his emotional dilemma against his medical condition but at the same time, we bonded and forged a friendship. Sad to say, Haiti lost badly in the final soccer match. Too bad for the injured captain, who was the best player in the team.

Other good things that happened was that i made new great friends, each unique in their own ways and that i feel really blessed to have met such people. And there was the free food i always looked forward to during dinner at the workforce dining area, which served pretty good, filling food. There would always be during dinner, 1 pasta dish, rice with 1 dish of chicken, fish, vegetables, side items and soup. The menu changes each day. Then there were ice-creams, snacks, different hot and cold beverages and dessert. If it weren't for the fasting month, i think i would have gained weight so much over at the village.

There was one particular day when i was absolutely lucky to have the opportunity to dine with the athletes. It all started from two NOCs from Paris, both friends and neighbors, whom i got to know and things rolled from there. The two guys were really nice to me and seeing that they were only 20, i felt like they were mature beyond their age from the way they see things and the way they think. But boys being boys, they were still cheeky. One of the guys was a Muslim, so we decided to break fast together. He somehow managed to snag a dinner voucher for me from somewhere (of course, with that smile of his, he could get away with anything!) and then we proceeded to dinner. I told him that we could have dinner at the workforce area, but these boys wanted to eat at the athletes' area. After much convincing with security, we got passed and i went -OHMYGOD- looking at the number of stalls and dishes being served to athletes. I settled for a really good chicken pasta in red sauce, chocolate cake slice, yoghurt and 3 scoops of chocolate ice cream. And what i ate, was probably 1/10 of the whole menu available there. Lucky athletes.

YOG was a good experience. It boosted my confidence to speak and use the language i learnt for 2 years. It's really comforting to hear moral support and assurance from others that i wasn't as bad as i thought i was. One day, yes maybe one fine day, from the urge of French friends of mine, i would someday visit the City of Dreams and perhaps, meet them again there. For sure, i will miss them.

Other best dates that happened

- One of the rarest times i appreciate most - meeting with DB. I asked him out to a movie. We watched Grown Ups! It was funny, coz of some scenes (inside joke). It had been a while since me and DB go out for dates. After the movie, we break fast together. It's been our second time this month. It was also our second meeting of August. It's tough, yes, but we'll manage...

- I went over chez Celine the other day to see how things were going, as she would be leaving pretty soon and that she had tons to pack. When i came over, her room was in complete disarray. Boxes were everywhere, clothes, books, random stuffs and whatnot. She gave away some items to me and another friend, while we both helped her decide what to pack home, of which a few large boxes would be shipped to Paris, and another set of packing for Taiwan where she would be visiting next week. I will miss her too..

- Shin Tokyo dinner date with my dahlingggg girlfriends; smittened Bana and sizzling Iris. I haven't really gotten the time to spend with them as one just came back from down under, Brisbane, on one semester exchange while the other is...well..plain busy with her newfound love. HAHA ok - i mean, our schedules don't go together well.

- Plans to have buffet dinner with love and his ex-Singtel colleagues, the Pipol, at some Indonesian eatery all the way at Tanjong Pagar. I really appreciate the time and occasions hanging out with his group of friends because i learnt even more how DB is like with his own friends.

That is basically it. OH - Happy Teacher's Day! To all teachers and tutors (including myself, heh)!

Reminiscence

2010-08-15T20:13:00.006+08:00

For the past weeks, i was reminded of how far away i am from DB. I missed him. I yearned for his presence. I kept remembering how things used to be. One unmistakable incident i vividly recalled was when the other day, a particular couple caught my attention. It wasn't much about the faces. In the back of my mind, they were just beings. Two different beings, yet same as one. I observed the male, his actions towards the female. Oh how tender it was. Yes - the word i could use to describe the scene - lovingly tender.

As i watched even closely, i saw the henna stained fingers of the man. And the pretty henna stained feet of the lady. It was such beauty, as if i was seeing the physicality of love in its pure form right before my eyes. It wasn't even anything intimate. It was a simple gesture of him, the man holding hands with his loved one.

I looked down, almost ashamed, at my own palms and hand. It was empty.

OMG, what did i get myself into?

2010-08-10T22:00:00.002+08:00

Here's my horrendous find of a certain module i was psyched to take. But, i have just read the description and I'm already mortified. Look at point 2 and 5. Seriously? And 7?? Whatttt??

This is a 3rd year Sociology module. If you have no background in Sociology, you should have keen interest in Sociology, and you may have to work harder than those who have such a background. Grades are relative to your cohort, so some third year Sociology majors and Honours students may understand (for example) "social construction" theory far better than you can. Let's hope your interest, motivation and effort will pay off even if you have no prior exposure to Sociology modules.
READ THE FOLLOWING BEFORE YOU ENROL IN THIS MODULE.
THE COURSE IS NOT SUITABLE FOR THE FOLLOWING PERSONS:
1. If you are a FIRST YEAR student, it is advisable that you wait till your third year to take this course. Past experience shows that first year students dont have the intellectual tools or maturity to read third year modules. They have to compete with more advanced students in their third and Honours year (many of whom are single-majors in sociology), and as a result they feel lost in class, and do badly in grades. This course is offered every year, so be patient and wait till your 3rd or 4th year to read the module.
2. If you are looking for HANDOUTS/NOTES, do not take this module. There are NO handouts in class, there are no power-point lecture notes for you to download, nothing for you to copy! Anyone taking this module has to listen and make your own notes. You may have to learn speed-dictation as lectures may be delivered at rapid fire.
3. If you are fishing for an EASY module, this is not it. The term papers demand quite a lot of research input, tutorials are demanding, and past year exam questions are no guide to the present. Are you sure you want to go through all these ?
4. You have to prepare for TUTORIALS. If an assignment is sent to you via email or posted on IVLE, you have to bring it to class for discussion. If not, we will not hesitate to ask you to leave the room. We don't like lazy people riding on others who have prepared for their assignments. It is very unethical and irresponsible to depend on others that way.
5. If you are looking for personal validation, this course is not the vehicle for that. In fact, you'll get the opposite: you will feel slighted or ignored as the lecturer cannot remember your name, very often doesnt give you eye contact, and doesnt have time to answer your email. Part of the reason is due to SIZE of the class: you cannot expect equal attention in a class of over 100 students. If you want to be remembered and loved by lecturers, you should take smaller classes of ten to thirty.
6. If you have timetable CLASHES with another module, you have to drop either one. No new tutorial groups will be created just to cater to one or two oddballs and there are just no rooms available for new groups.
7. This is a SOCIOLOGY module, not a general paper one: we dont deal with questions like whether penis size matters to women; what turns people on ? is homosexuality inborn or learned ? Instead, we ask questions dealing with social structure, social institutions, and cultural constructions. Read the course outline for more details.

What's new this week?

2010-08-04T13:01:00.002+08:00

OK. WHAT'S NEW PEOPLE??

I hope you guys had a wonderful end to the month of July, because i certainly did!

- There was this particular week when i kept going out at night for consecutive days. First, i had a dinner date with my former Sony colleagues at Jurongpoint and catch up with them after about 1 year not meeting them. One is still studying while the other is already working in some stocks exchange company doing technical support.

- Then, there was the night when an impromptu dinner date with old primary school friends was set at Glasshouse. It was my very first time eating Fish & Co at the outlet itself. I do not quite like the ambience because it is noisy, the live band playing was too loud and so conversations over the table had to be shouted across just to be heard. Then there's this birthday dedication thing. For the whole of 1.5h sitting there, so many birthday songs were sung by the F&C crew. So one can NOT expect a quiet, intimate birthday celebration there because then EVERYONE in the bloody restaurant knows you're the birthday boy/girl. The waitress is also another cuckoo, relaying orders very poorly. BUT, having said that, the live acoustic band, albeit loud, was really good and they kept hitting on the pop tunes and giving fresh renditions of current hits. My personal opinion, if you wanna hang out with old buddies without fear of awkward silence and not knowing what to say, head over to Glasshouse and just enjoy the music and food when it finally arrives at your table.

I realised that there isn't much that change in a person although a decade has passed. My friends were as how i used to remember them, the only difference was that we grew taller, bigger, fatter and overall, more pleasant than how we used to be in our 12 year old bodies. It made me feel absolutely at one with these group of people, although meeting for the first time in a decade may seem to be the most awkward thing ever, it wasn't. How name-calling were all passé and we merely laughed at the labels we earned.

- Then, there was the YOG Opening ceremony rehearsal. Smart aren't they, to give out free tickets prior to the real thing, means we couldn't possibly go for the real deal!! Right?? Poor us volunteers. Anyway, everyone is given 1 ticket per person only, but because i'm a *special* volunteer (HEHE) i managed to get another when i requested. So I invited DB for the OCR and goodness it felt like NDP. The reason why is because i didn't think the showcases actually display any sort of sportive spirit whatsoever. The show was not seamless at all, very choppy in transitions and i didn't find them enjoyable. It does not show any motif relating to sports as i see it, and more like a culture exposé of the CIMO. Ok i get it that they want to show Singapore to the whole world but i think they should include more of the sports stuffs. Instead it's youths dancing, rockin' it without synchronisation to second-rated karaoke pop tunes. And confusion sets in when POLE DANCERS started appearing in small platforms among the audience. What??? And the biggest letdown of the evening: WHERE'S LYO AND MERLY, THE TWO VERY VERY IMPORTANT MASCOTS OF THE YOG????? Oh well, i guess they just wanted to simulate the real deal and some stuffs may not appear yet. But i think it was a relief that JJ's dumbass "OH Yeah" cheer did not turn up even once during the evening. Saved for our ears!

- I got the flu bug. This is probably my weakest point of the year, having just recovered from another separate fever a few weeks ago.

- Placement test. I went for Bahasa Indonesia written and oral tests, which got me placed in BI 5, the highest level offered. Which is pretty funny actually, because i couldn't even answered a question to "Toko" and the fact that some sentences didn't make sense to me. But the Tina and Tono story was amusing. It was the typical drama of any sinetron you see on Suria.

- Mum's birthday celebration at Mak's Place. It was a personal time with my family. Wished my dad could have joined us. He has been missing alot on family time lately thanks to his working shift.

That probably summed up my week. I don't actually know what to expect in the new semester, or the Games for that matter.

because the mind is a powerful tool

2010-07-23T00:40:00.004+08:00

Mindfucked.

That was the only thing that came to my mind as the screen dimmed and credits started rolling. I was thrown to the edge of my seat watching this with my girlfriend throughout the 2.5 hour long show. This movie was directed and filmed so very magnificently, and the idea is pure genius! Christopher Nolan, hats off to you for this really awesome creation!

I highly recommend this to anyone and everyone who likes to be intellectually stimulated and wish to work those brains. Especially thrilling if you're a huge believer of Freud and his psychoanalysis of dreams. Having took Psychology before, i sure am impressed by the whole complexity of this movie as they delved into possibilities of the subconscious mind.

And of course, brains aside...

This guy playing Arthur (Joseph Gordon Levitt) caught my eye, he's so sexy! I know he may not look like it from this picture, but wait till you catch him in the show. REALLY frickin' hot. Especially in the hotel scene ;)

Birthday dedication

2010-07-19T22:38:00.004+08:00

Dear DB,

I'm dedicating this song to you. Happy birthday hun :) Thanks for being here for me all these while.

What's new this week?

2010-07-07T21:08:00.003+08:00

It's been a long time since i posted an entry. So, what's new?

Malaysia Trip

Day 1 - I went Malaysia alone for the first time and stayed over at Pontian where my aunt lives. The kind cousin fetched me from Bukit Panjang with her car and off we headed to my aunt's place.

Day 2 - Unexpectedly, my aunt declared that we would go over to KL, where my cousins have a private apartment in Taman Melawati, near Beverly Heights (where the rich Malaysian celebrities live). For the first time, i had a midnight movie with the awesome cousin and went home at unearthly hours of 3am, without my aunt caring in the world! Movie tickets are so cheap because it was Ladies Night that day!

Day 3 - We got up to Genting Highlands and it was the 2nd time for me (first was when i was an infant) and i was mighty excited! It was extraordinarily chilly and misty because it was drizzling. Then, my aunt treated us all to Tony Roma's in Pavilion, which serves really great food and excellent ambience. Price wise - it's rather steep.

Day 4- After touring around KLCC, we went back to Pontian at night. 3 hours drive back because the cousin drove crazily at 130km/h. Arrived at about midnight but...my aunt forgot the house keys! She left it at the KL apartment! Good thing, my cousin's bf kept their spare keys. After that about 1am, me and cousin went searching for late supper.

Day 5 - My aunt brought me to the infamous Kukup where we ate delicious seafood for lunch! First time i ate the chilli crab, extremely spicy my ears popped! Then we stopped by some makeshift stall along the road for durians. Evening time, we went to the Pasar Lambak to buy food for my family. I finally left for Singapore at night, after looting Breadtalk, Auntie Anne's pretzels and Starbucks with me. I got home just close to midnight.

My fondest memory of the trip? Late night calls with DB from my malaysian number knowing that we were so near, yet so far...

Costa Sands Resort

- My brother booked a chalet for a week, in conjunction of my sister-in-law's birthday. So i went down on day 3. Normal stuffs people do during chalets: BBQ, Wild Wild Wet, more BBQ food till we got sick of it, and then home.

Random dates

- Pastamania dates were the rage for me and DB. I am now officially sick of Pastamania.

- Went to town with Bana where we simply shopped, looked at pretty things and had a nice manicure and pedicure done by two lovely pinoys. (Of course, i had Pastamania for lunch). That was a nice lepak session really. We should do it more often please.

- Went out with DB, no more of Pastamania dates, but LJS. Malaysia does not have LJS i found out! Anyways, he did very very well for his recent exams...Hope he'll be on his way to becoming a lawyer..not a loyar-buruk, ok? ;)

- YOG training on Saturday. Met some cool Russians, French boys, Spanish-speaking people. It was cool.

- Awesome tv. Can you spell C.H.U.C.K and HIMYM?

- Dinner with the ladies tonight at East Coast. =) Last meet before Taq leaves for Switzerland!

2010-06-26T18:13:00.001+08:00

Finally, i found a perfect picture of 2010.

Happy 50th sweetheart.

Je t'aime, toujours.

My parentage

2010-06-05T10:54:00.002+08:00

I need to write this down before i forget how the story goes. In my family, past stories and histories are hard to come by. It's because my parents hardly talk about themselves, about how they met and so forth; things seem like a mystery to me despite having lived with them for 21 years. My parents are complicated beings themselves.

The story, as told by my mum, goes like this:

My mother married my dad without knowing one secret. This secret was supposedly blurted out by her brother-in-law. I myself found it a wonder, as to how my mother never knew about this information when it was so obvious from the start. Anyway, to cut the story short, her brother-in-law told my mother that her mother-in-law is of chinese origin. That was back then in Malaccan villages, when children got passed around for others to take care of. My grandmother apparently, was passed from a chinese family to a malay one and was raised as one. She married my late grandfather who was malay, and hence that would make my father half chinese and malay.

More things started to surface, when at a wedding, a couple approached my mother and asked for a certain person whom they called "Din Mualaf". Apparently, that person was my father. I guess things started rolling from there. My mother was never supposed to bring up the question of him being halved-parentage. It was because my mother said that my father would turn angry and he doesn't like to talk about his past family history.

Hence, my mother concluded that my brothers and myself, have chinese blood although we see ourselves as malay, and that we would have chinese uncles and aunts, cousins and other extended relatives whom we never met before.

p.s - i saw a wedding picture of my mum and dad. He was totally chinese-looking then!

p.p.s - i still consider myself malay though, not mixed.

49th month anniversary

2010-05-26T01:31:00.004+08:00

Do you remember this, hun? It was taken pretty much a year back. I misplaced my glasses on this very day, because i changed from work clothes into that and practically left my other pair of eyes in the toilet! How forgetful i was! I remembered too that on this day, you taught me a little on photography using your camera and handphone - because you have that eye for detail and you take great pictures, better than i do!

Looking at us, I'm feeling all nostalgic again. I really miss us. I really do. I missed hanging out with you.

(And i miss my flawless skin then.)

49 months now! Because we are awesome like that. ;)

model scam

2010-05-09T18:04:00.003+08:00

I would like to share my experience today, at about 1 p.m near my block. I was going towards the bus-stop to work when i felt i was being followed from behind. I turned around and saw a storky young man walking briskly towards me and calling out to me. He asked for directions to a nearby community centre in Bukit Panjang. He allegedly came from Tampines and was not sure of his way around here. Believing it, i gave him directions. He told me that he had parked his car somewhere around the rubbish dumps. At that point of time, i was afraid that he might ask me to show him around the place. As polite and firm as i can, i gave him specific directions once again to his destination.

He thanked me profusely. I thought he was a nice, lost man. THEN, he commented that i was a very tall and young lady. He asked if i was a model, or had any experience and i said no. He then asked if i was interested in modelling. I decided to humour him and hear what he has got to say. He told me that Malays in general, shun the model industry because of their traditionalistic ways (though i beg to differ to that statement looking at the kinds of Malays we have in the society today). But anyway, i simply agreed saying that older Malay generations may frown upon modelling of which some could be extremely revealing.

Hearing that, he continued to ask if i was traditional. I told him no, but yet i stated that i am principled and that there is a distinction between fashion shows, runways and skimpy photoshoots. The whole conversation revolved around the modelling industry, women, and success in modelling. He told me, in order to succeed in modelling one would have to provide *extra* services.

As soon as i heard what he said, i grew dubious to where he was coming from. He certainly wasn't asking for directions at all. He was scouting for girls, certainly not modelling in mind, but much much more. I was late for work and i was starting to get annoyed, because i was sure he was trying to solicit sexual service with the pretext of modelling and succeeding in it. I grew firmer and told him that I am not like that all, and that there is distinction between modeling and being a social escort. He kept insisting that it was not social escort he was talking about, but what makes a successful model.

I was beginning to feel defensive for myself because that man, who addressed himself as William and working with Carrie Models, appeared aggressive to sell his crude ideas to me. I didn't buy his truckload of shit. I have model friends and they do not engage in these things out of coerce just to be successful in what they do. That conman nonchalantly asked me if i have friends interested in doing such things. I was appalled, i wouldn't even let MY FRIENDS be part of this dirty scheme! I was infuriated when he told me, that if i were to refer my friends to him, he would give me a small commission! I wished i had screamed aloud to alert passersby of this uncouthly person, especially when he told me to "lower my voice" when talking about the sexual service.

I decided to end the useless conversation by standing my ground, firmly saying that i was not the right person he was looking for. Before he left and shook my hands, he popped one question for me out of curiosity.

"Are you a girl, or a woman?"....

Well, i think you're a woman. By the looks of your face...

So in Taiwan, where i come from, if i ask a 13 year old if she's a girl and she said "Yes", i would laugh at her..

So tell me, when was your first time?

I refused to disclose anything and bolted the hell out of there as fast as i could. So friends, if you ever get approached by anyone by the sound or likes of him, please do not entertain him. Get away from the scoundrel and seek for a safe place. Oh fyi, he told me he was going to the CC to meet another potential client (who he could exploit, isn't it?). Please be cautious, girls.

2010-05-05T23:50:00.002+08:00

this stupid stupid headache won't leave me alone. topped with recent crushing news and some insulting event; they all made me cranky.

hello, month of may. we're not on good terms, are we now?

life is love

2010-05-03T22:58:00.002+08:00

Db's back from KL! All seems to go well for his sister.

Today marks the end of my exams. And so is the end of my second year. Time flies.

Today, i went to TTSH to visit my friend. It pains me to hear what her mum says, i had to hold back from weeping right under her nose. Her mother is strong, for herself, for her family and especially for her daughter.

The hardest blow was seeing my friend so weak, so fragile that i had the inkling that if i were to hug her, i'ld crush her. It took so much effort and will to look in her eye, because i was too overwhelmed by the fact that this is happening to someone I know and it was too sudden. I wanted to tell her that everything would be alright, but somehow i didn't want to sound all-knowing because this is her fight. I and of course, the hundreds of others who visited her, we are all there to give that emotional support. But essentially, this is her battle. She's strong for this. We know that she is strong. I pray that strength shall continue.

God, please don't take her, and the joy she brings to others, away from us.

listlessly bored

2010-05-01T22:38:00.002+08:00

DB's in KL over the weekend with his family. And so i'm left all alone and feeling so bored. boo.

I have one last paper on Monday, and shitz i have no mood at all to study for it. Goodness what am i expecting - exam in the concert hall and we are expected to identify balinese, javanese gamelan/south indian/african music and write essays on the politics of music? Hhhmm. Seriously it's the most enjoyable module thus far, and i made friends with few absolutely trained musicians sharing the same interests with me; but the prospect of writing essays for music is....unfathomable. Why can't we have MCQ questions instead?? =/

Yes i can groan and grumble, the fact is - i'm just feeling too lazy and i can't wait to end my last paper and finally visit my very critical friend in Tan Tock Seng. I realised that all this - this academia shit - is nothing when compared to real life situations we face. Imagine having a life at stake near death. Having people cut you up, trying to figure out what's killing you inside, and ensuring that your life continues. Who knew, that your very healthy-looking, cheerful friend had been battling with brain tumour.

NN, i hope that you'll pull through this hard time. We are always here for you. Hang in there and don't give up easily. You're greatly missed. I will be looking forward to seeing you Monday. Hope to see you smile, even if you can't speak because i understand how much effort you need to muster to talk. I wish i could bring you all the chocolates and goodies you've been craving for, like how you posted on your FB wall last week, but i guess all that would have to wait till you get much better. I can't wait for us to organise another French pique-nique, comme d'habitude. And laugh silly over La Chevre because it's such a ridiculous movie. Or exchange weird glances at each other in class because we couldn't understand what someone was babbling in French tutorial. And hear you comment about my partying habits and clothes. And i definitely don't want to miss hearing the stories you have to share when you come back from paris next year.

I'm glad God gave you the second chance to live. Amin.

Four

2010-04-26T23:16:00.012+08:00

We turned 4 today. How much we had grown from hormonal teens to level-headed young adults. =) So here's a little walk down memory lane of our journey together.

2006. This was the very first shot of us together using your phone. Taken during Valentines' Day concert : the day when we both performed onstage, and you *embarrassed* me by dedicating a song called "Jerk It Out" to me in front of the largest lecture theatre in college. We became popular thereafter in school ;) Oh - not forgetting that peck-on-cheek thing. We weren't even together yet! Lol.

2007. Probably, a period when typically most girls whine and groan about: National Service. We already got together. I still remember having to wait late night for calls, having messages replied only much later but hey, i didn't mind so much because i understand the whole situation. This picture was taken when you took your A level results and i saw you with shaved head for the first time. I was actually nervous because i personally do not have a thing for bald men. At least you were cute with a balding glory. Haha!

2008. We had several dates everywhere during this year and i guess that this picture was one of the happiest moment because it was my 19th birthday. We went for a movie date and quite coincidentally we happened to wear the same color code. You got me that awesome Shayne Ward CD and princess pillows which i now have on my bed. Thank you Hun, for having celebrated the day i came into this world, with me.

2009. The year just got sweeter (though we had downs) but being positive as you always do, i felt encouraged to make this relationship work. You were so good to me during all those moments even when i placed you in difficult times, with school stress and everything else. You were very patient with me, my behaviour, my mannerisms and essentially all about me. Despite that all, you stuck by me for better or worst. For that again, thank you love.

2010. Our life course is taking a different turn now that you and i are separated across the borders. I always miss you, and often i am not one to show my feelings. It's just the way i am but each time, when i see a familiar place or heard a song somewhere, inside i am reminded me of the times we used to spend together and i craved for those past moments. I feel lonesome without you around. Having to see you once fornightly or longer made me appreciate every second we have together. Thank god for technology; Skype became our new best friend. But nothing beats the technological touch than a real, warm human hug and kiss.

4 years ago, when you asked me if i could be your girlfriend, i was afraid because we had a great friendship going on, and frankly, i just dropped out of a previous relationship that failed. I was afraid of things turning out differently if we were together and things were to turn out for the bad. But, i decided that i should give us a chance.

And so, looking back now, 4 years after, i think that there isn't much to say except for the fact that i never looked back to saying the magic word to your question, and that i'm glad that you had the courage to pursue me even if i wasn't the most attractive/appealing girl in school.

I'm grateful to be given someone none other like you, Azim.

To 4 years, and more.

Love, Dilah

What's new this week?

2010-04-25T00:51:00.002+08:00

-Nothing much, really, 'cept for the fact that exams started Saturday morning (BIGBOOBOO) and an ulcer formed on my lower gum that hurts like &*($@^ even after i used Listerine mouthwash yesterday. DB's having ulcer too! Ulcer couple! Hah.

-I am still waiting for SEP outcome - Laurianne seemed happy that i listed Sciences Po (Paris) as my first choice. But really, this is all tentative plans subjected to many department approvals. I myself have not really applied for Montpellier though i went for the talk the other night. Something about going to France with unfamiliar people makes me squirm.

-Someone is making plans to go on Eurotrip before she heads off en Suisse for 1 semester and she asked me along to go for the trip spanning across several countries. Means:

3 weeks Montpellier + 2 weeks Eurotrip = 5 weeks in Europe + 1 full flight to/fro Singapore

In other words, killing two birds with 1 plane!

-Seriously, the sacred period called 'Holidays' are nearing and i have already come up with mental checklists on the things i might wanna do during the 3 month hiatus from being labelled Year 3. It's ridiculous, time is always running short and i have things that i always want to do yet money matters sucked.

-De toute façon, my and my partner in crime had been on the lookout for certain people in school throughout the mugging period and dayymm do we really need to put a name to that enigmatic gym-guy face. WE have to go back to the GYM asap, B! (ohwwayyt. he's doing honours, so it's the last semester right?!)

-Case "K"- mystery solved. Finally found out his name. Found out he was there if i had modeled for the Doctor's greek party. Found out he has a white ~~fling~~ girlfriend. Yeah - he's hot stuff. But....like i said to B, "Just for flings....".

-Lunch with absolutely charming (and handsome) blue-eyed german dude with Laurianne yesterday. Naiise.

-Realised i got 3 more exams. fml.

the claw machine

2010-04-19T00:19:00.005+08:00

We went to the arcade, as we usually do sometimes. But, today was extra special because DB won THIS for me! From the clawing machine!

Our first cub. Meet Tyke. Cute much? ;)

The Click 5

2010-04-15T20:59:00.003+08:00

Hey you i wanna catch your wave
Hey you i wanna drift away with you
Hey you you've got an undertow
Hey you, hey you
Don't wanna let you go...

Today marks the 4th year. Not of our relationship, but of the day when Azim and I went for our first concert together. Prior to the event at the Indoor Stadium, Azim told me he couldn't get the free tickets to the concert. But then, he eventually relented to me, saying that it was only a joke. Damn was i happy to get to go for the concert all along, because free tickets were going out fast and not everyone got them :)

I still remember vaguely the details of the night. It was a blast, because i was going to my very first maiden concert with someone i fancied. Throughout the show, i couldn't believe that i managed to date him.

We were having a jolly good time listening to Click 5 performing, when you started to ask if i was cold. As I nodded, you gave me your outer long-sleeved gray shirt and placed it around me. I found it so gentlemanly of you.

As things were about to get cosy, you bravely asked me again this time, if i would like to lean in closer to you. I hesitated for a while, but i know that i wanted to give it - and us - a try. Slowly, I leaned towards your shoulder and laid my head there. The feeling was wonderful. It felt safe, all the more when i felt your arms wrapped around me, for the first time, pulling me closer...

That was the earliest memory i have, those baby steps we took together to become what we are today.

a simple dedication

2010-04-14T19:24:00.002+08:00

Dear love,

I'm dedicating Miley's When I Look at You to you. Please listen to it.

I love you,
Dilah

2010-04-09T23:27:00.003+08:00

Announcement: I'll be deleting my food blog by this weekend. It was just part of my food module last semester, and it was graded. I didn't update anymore too. Sorry about that, to people who actually do visit my food blog.

In any case, i have another blog which is more open to public in general. If you find that i'm MIA from blogger, it's probably because i had been updating elsewhere.

So here it is! Just take note, this blogger space of mine is a more private channel to my life. So the other blog is full of random stuffs.

Happy reading, people :)

to 384 dates and more

2010-04-07T18:51:00.003+08:00

Azim

He's changed a lot since the 4 years we have known each other.

It's amazing how time flies amidst those hanging around, dates, fooling around and all.

I wondered, how many dates have we been out together?

Let's do some calculations, shall we?

Assuming that i met him at least twice a week, 2x4x12x4=384

We would have dated 384 times but of course that figure is highly contested.

Anyway, i am beginning to like seeing him with glasses. He looks more like his age, doesn't he now, compared to the previous boyish image? ;)

good day

2010-03-31T23:24:00.000+08:00

I'm pretty lazy to do anything these days.

I have 5 essays to write and less than a month to exams, and yet, i have not started revision. =( Maybe a good sleep tonight and strong coffee tomorrow morning will jolt my dull senses awake to complete all those horrid, horrid essays! I totally passed French Table today for "Les Diner des Cons" film screening and i feel so bad because i told this another (cute) guy to go last night. And i am MIA. Talk about integration in France. -_-

Au fait, DB told me great BIG news today and I'm pretty shocked and surprised to know that some BIG decision has been made by his Dad. I hope that things will continue to go well with the Danga Bay project and all the others (think BUNKering, haha) and that i wish that all your efforts for your Dad's company will be paid off soon.

So take care, don't play with Excel too much, and don't go cross-eyed doing accounting! =p

good things come to people

2010-03-13T23:10:00.000+08:00

Well, what a day!

It's a Saturday and i spent some time going to Suntec City not for the IT Fair, but for Bodyshop massive sale! It WAS massive indeed. I texted my friend who love Bodyshop stuffs, and she was over the moon hearing about the mega stock clearance. The next day, she replied.

"Omg, Fad. I spent $120".

Don't worry, I spent less than 50. I became a supporter of their products following the fair trade and if buying their products help to alleviate the impoverished conditions in parts of Africa, why not?

And then i spent a day at Starbucks with a good cup of Java Chip, while i dated Marx, Dahrendorf and Miliband. Woo threesome - or does that make us four- but it was intellectually boring.

Last week, i went out on a date with DB, again a rather rare moment for us in this LDR.We watched Dear John. It was good. It is a reminder for LD couples. It is NOT easy being in a LDR, especially if you want it to work out. The date was amazing. I won't forget the details.

Recently, two separate juniors turned to me for advice. Both intend to pursue higher tertiary education. One came from an unconventional route (ITE to Poly) while the other from my previous college. I feel honored by the fact that there are people who are inspired by me, to fulfill their dreams of becoming a somebody through education. If you're reading this, well, let me congratulate you in coming this far and threading on big dreams for your own future. All the best..!

p.s : 5 to 6 years to come, I would cross my fingers, and hope VERY hard - penthouse (and Corvette). ;)

Facing it

2010-03-04T13:06:00.000+08:00

Everyone has fears of their own. It's a matter of whether you acknowledge it, or otherwise.

I choose to express it, here and now.

I have fears, no doubt about it, of being alone in a new place, stranded without knowing a single person.
I have fears of being lost and completely stumped, unknowing of what to do or how to react in situations.
I am completely fearful of being out on my own and especially out of my comfort zone.

Though,

Somewhere on the other side, it promises a greater opportunity not to be missed.
The other side where the grass is supposedly greener.
The unknown in which i would have to find the courage to get myself up.

And just go.

Someone, i plea, for help.

Stars on Stage

2010-03-01T17:37:00.000+08:00

Well, it's been a busy month. I was part of a committee helping out 4PM with a gig event that they were organizing for youths at Bedok.

Things were rushed in terms of sourcing out for sponsorship and logistical issues like lighting equipments and banner-making. It's pretty tough ~~working~~ volunteering for an organization which does not appear to want to co-operate with you. It's the way people treat you in the office of politics where students are always looked down upon and discredited in their work. I pity my Chair Head of the committee, as she's done lots of the work and yet the staff of the main organization appears to be patronising and condescending towards volunteers' work. The fact that volunteers even made time showed how serious we were about work and how we think that an event should be done all the way and not halfway setengah jalan like the typical malay style. That's why someone told me, orang melayu tak tau buat business.

That aside, i'm pretty glad that the whole gig went well despite all the differences. I was appointed PR/Publicity for the event which was pretty slack since i didn't really do my work but chose to help liaise for lighting and sponsorship. On the day itself I was made artist manager which people think i did a good job but i think it's just merely about talking to people and learning the ways they walk. :) The performers were very nice and some of them were pretty cute and good looking ~~like that one drummer from this particular band. Db jangan jealous eh, you're always my favourite drummer.~~

THE HIGHLIGHT DU JOUR?

DB made a surprise visit to me all the way from across the borders to Bedok just because. He stopped by and gave me a double surprise: A BLUE ROSE! I loved it! Thank you Azim =) It's pretty sweet of him. He scolded me for not having had my lunch and that my first real meal was at 6pm. We ate together at the steps near the open court and well, it's a pretty rare moment for us. I admit that i missed him eversince he left for Malaysia to study but i guess this is the way our paths work and whether our two paths merge to a fork would only be known to us in the future.

I'm asked to be the artist manager again for the next gig event but i don't know because the gig falls on my 21st birthday. Well. I contemplate.

uncanny love

2010-02-11T13:54:00.001+08:00

You gotta admit, you love this.

Happy Valentines' Day in advance, everyone =)

//update @ midnight 14 feb 10//

It's the day when love is way up above.
When couples around the world rejoice.
To celebrate the gift of love,
With the partner of their choice.

Some wait till tomorrow,
While some can't wait, they do it now.
I'm feeling less than sorrow,
Cos I feel, that you're here, somehow.

Even so,
I wish you were here.
I would go,
To the ends for u, dear.

For now the best I could do,
As we're far away,
I Want to wish you,
A Happy Valentine's Day.

Thanks for the poem, dear. I really appreciate it. =)

she's back

2010-02-05T00:40:00.000+08:00

It must be a miracle.

Tintin, my mum's favourite cat who was lost 1 month ago, came back today. My dad found her at a corner near the staircase, mewing. She's grown so thin, her fur had almost dropped. I pity her. She just looked miserable.

As recounted by my dad, as soon as she got into our home, Tintin rushed to my mum's room and got on the bed. I guess she missed her favourite sleeping spot. Poor her. She's almost boney. I wondered if she was even fed! I'm saying this because my family suspected that Tintin was kept by someone within the block. She's a smart cat and she does not roam around and go into strangers' houses! And she definitely knows how to return home unless someone took her away.

Few months back, our other Persian cat Memek too had gone missing. She was only found 3 days later at the void deck looking bewildered and afraid.

There's only the third and last cat within this house to have yet go missing. If she does, then i must admit, i will be very distraught.

Meet Puteh, da gangsta.

pelog & slendro scales

2010-01-26T00:12:00.000+08:00

What you're seeing here, friends, is actually a class that I'm taking in Yong Siew Toh Conservatory of Music. It was my promise that i would step into that forbidden city (only certain students allowed in) and now i know why. Instruments in that faculty are genuinely expensive, like how i eyed the black grand piano sitting in a corner of my lecture class.

Currently I'm doing Balinese Gamelan and i tell you, it's awesome to be doing something which is my forte (music, of course). The instructor is very, very good and i really look forward to tomorrow's class again. Musical notations and terminologies aside, i think the best way of learning is really to listen. It definitely helps and keeps you musically trained by ear. I had always dreaded theory learning the piano and resorted to playing-by-ear as time goes by.

Take this module, if you have about a 1000 to spare in your NUS bidding account. =)

LDR

2010-01-18T22:08:00.000+08:00

Well, it's the start of a beautiful virtual relationship avec lui.

Phase 2.

Et oui, i hold on to that proposal : I shall and will be your long-term/distance girlfriend.

new chapter

2010-01-12T00:42:00.000+08:00

I can't thank you enough for this sweet gift. It's my first diamond, ever.

<3 I love you <3

Mission Esplanade meets CSI

2010-01-09T00:55:00.001+08:00

Better late than never, so : HAPPY NEW YEAR! BONNE ANNEE! (yes, i still exist in the blogosphere)

It's only been my first week of 2010, yet it's been the most dramatic as far as i can remember.
Before i jump the ~~cock~~gun, here's a toast to ALL of us, who slogged through 2009 and came out (hopefully) alive. I said that because i found out that another friend of a friend passed away recently.

Moving on, I'm sure that many of you had gotten over your New Year's hangover (whatnot) and basically, had the night of your life. Well, i did for sure! Not the hangover part, but my New Year's eve was effing awesome that i had to title it Mission Esplanade. Here's why:

After an absolutely filling dinner at Pizza Hut, DB and I made our way to town. When we reached City Hall, there were a gazillion people and i thanked God for my height. Man - do some even bother with deodorant? It's stinking in the pits, and if you're short i bet a million bucks you can smell all sorts of aroma. After trudging human traffic, we found out that the police had barricaded access INTO Esplanade. DB and I really wanted to get into Esplanade to catch the fireworks up-close. So, we sneaked in. We evaded from the security and proceeded to find unguarded and unlocked entrances. I, playing as Sarah Walker followed DB (as Chuck Bartowski) as we quietly made our way around Esplanade in the hope to get inside. Clock was ticking nearer to midnight and I was getting tired. With my heels in hand, we trotted our way until finally! A door leads us inside and we found ourselves successfully accomplishing the first mission. Ever.

The fireworks were jawing-dropping amazing up-close and we exchanged and shared our first kisses of the New Year. Yes - it was romantic.

The next few days were heinously spent shopping back to back in town with Bana. While she went all out to shop for all sorts of stuffs from Topshop, Uniqlo, Pull&Bear and many others that i forgot what, i went on a shopping celibacy and bought myself only this: a cute teeny pencil box case with horses and pretty little things on it. (pats on the back) BUT - having said that, i blew my oath as i ended up buying a little gift for someone special. Little did he knew. ;)

Sunny side up to this relationship - but we have to part in a few days' time. DB's going away for studies and we would probably meet once a month. So, as a parting gift, i surprised him with a Fossil watch after a thousand and one doubts and assurance from both Bana and the salesperson. It's a sexy piece, really. A sexy piece pour un homme beau. We had those couple-y talks and i must say, the future isn't as bad as i had thought it to be.

Right. So it's breaking-in and surprise missions. If it's not bad-ass enough, I'm down with Sherlock finding for missing cat TinTin, who disappeared last Sunday, and had not return since. Finding for her was futile, because i think someone had kept her in the house instead. So i might have to draw up a poster soon to retrieve her back. Mom's been upset.

And talking about missing, it's not just the cat. My mom's hard-earned wage had gone missing, or rather, got stolen yesterday noon. I spent 2 hours with her at the police station making a report. How can that person do such a horrible thing to my mother?! I curse his hands will get amputated.Few hours ago, Mom received a call from someone, asking to settle the case in person. She gets the money back - but on condition that my mother comes alone. How CSI can this get?!

Well, what a way to start the year.

2009-12-30T22:14:00.000+08:00

The turns of event were weird enough for you initially, but i'm glad that it's all sorted out. It's not that i'm not confident of your decisions - i just wanted to make sure that this pursuit is purely your interests because that's what is going to keep you in the long haul.

I hope that 2010 brings you greater opportunities and determination for success. I wish you all the best in your studies...

p.s - don't worry, i'll wait. ;)

2009-12-24T02:27:00.004+08:00

It's late night web-cruising again when i caught sight of a picture i never knew existed.

Taken before Hard Rock Cafe in KL

You wear like that to college next year, and i swear, you'll be spending an awful lot of time ~~breaking hearts~~ having dates with the ladies. Hhmmph.!

You, the Don Juan that i know of. ;)

Don Juan (n) ~ successful seducer of women

trust issues

2009-12-19T13:51:00.000+08:00

If my earlier post was about TRUTH, today i'll be talking about TRUST.

How many of you believe and trust people readily? *hands up*

Who do you trust the most, is it a relative, a friend or a family member?

How does it feel, to know that you're a person who cannot be trusted?

Well, let me share with you my own personal experience, if you hadn't known me well before.

I come from a family background in which both parents are overbearing and controlling. I feel overprotected and oppressed. In this sheltered life i lead, i feel that my personal life is assumed unimportant where else family comes first before anything. That is true. Family comes first because they are always there for you. Being there for you, i think, would also mean giving and receiving support and understanding.

More often than not, i am misunderstood by my own folks and i feel that they do not trust me enough. Being a 20 year old, i think that my insights and judgments towards life, in general, is more or less adult-oriented. I do not understand why it is just so hard for my parents to believe me or trust me with the decisions i make. Be it with who i go out with, what i do with my life - they seem to find that i am incapable of making the right decisions for myself. Though ironically, when i share with them the decisions that i am going to make, they briskly thrust that responsibility of decision-making on my shoulder, but they don't trust me enough to act on those decisions.

The basic unit of relationships is trust, so if you don't trust your own family, then would they count even as family?

Countless times, i've been accused of the *worst* things. Let's make a list, shall we?

Smoking : this was a long time back when i just hit puberty
Bad company : my parents think that i'm not capable of choosing the right friends
Male companion : my parents think it's a BIG no-no for me to hang out with guys, though they are friends
Drinking : my dad has a penchant for lecturing me about spiked drinks. I DON'T drink, Dad.
Sex : Both parents think that i must have done it.
Pregnancy : They thought i had done it, and so i got "pregnant".

Can you see just how negatively my parents think of me? How much trust do they have of me?

I can understand that i am a girl, thus i have to take extra care of myself. I can totally do that. But, i think it's unreasonable to control my whereabouts and with whom i go out with just because they're afraid i might get laid, raped or drunk. I hate that my sex is used against my own self; i'm being blackmailed just because i am a girl.

I don't know about you, but i am tired of this patriarchic, repressive system. Just because i am the only daughter and the best you can ever have, does not entitle you to claiming what i do with my own personal life. I'm not your puppet. I DO have a life, in case you haven't noticed at all. If you want to control my life and what i do with it, and not ready to face with me growing up and my decisions, then why did you have me 20 years ago? Being in a sheltered life, let me tell you, it's almost as if you're not living at all.

I wish you know that i am not gullible as you might think i am. I am not as weak you perceive me to be. I am sound in mind, and in the decisions i make for myself. I am a human calculator; i weigh the risks and consider all consequences of my actions. I would never do things that could potentially ruin the family name. I know that one of your children turned out a bad egg; but that does not mean that i'll be another.

I know my place in life, and my decisions support it. I can tell the right from wrong, if they are good for me or otherwise. I am rational, i can think for myself. I don't need you to dictate what i do.

But, I understand that as parents, you mean well for your children.
All i'm asking for is more trust and understanding from you.

trust truth, it hurts

2009-12-16T11:39:00.000+08:00

Last night, i busted a man's ego because he deserved it for offending me by his words. What i told him pierced his heart, and perhaps, his head too. The truth needs to be let out; something which i should have confessed a long time ago. But last night was unacceptable and it really hurt me, but i guess nothing can ever hurt other than truth itself.

YOG

2009-12-13T21:15:00.003+08:00

HELLO GUYS!

It's been quite a while since i updated. Been busy with stuffs and now i'm back.

Alors, the week's been hectic all with the YOG Friendship Camp, which is the highlight of the week! Tired having to travel back and forth for training sessions and doing activities with the athletes, but hey - that's all part of the job. Along the way, i built some friendships with the kids - all from different backgrounds but share the same love for sports. I've learnt a thing or two about some countries - Hungary, Algeria, France, Albania, African countries (Mali, Chad, Lesotho, Burkina Faso, Senegal etc) and some Latin America ones as well. Certainly alot to take in!

The closing ceremony i attended last night was cool! In the auditorium, it was all hotel banquet style with round tables and petite cart-shops serving local cuisines. Some of the kids, i asked, liked the food. Different from what they normal eat back at home. Lots of tropical fruit served as well. A good dinner was accompanied by performances and i wasn't at all surprised to see IJC's Musicians' Club performing at the ceremony. There was this mosh-pit going on with athletes dancing their funky moves. Then it was chaos. A whole round of the YOG mass dance later, people were seen going around, snapping photos for memories and some breaking into tears. Some strong friendships built over the 5 days.

I'll never forget how sweet that Hungarian handball player was for giving me the Budapest postcard, the very cute girl from Albania who began enquiring about my lenses, the Bruneian guy who bought us all ice-creams, the hugs i shared with a thousand and one athletes, 'Borat' - that french clown who kept all our moods light and certainly, the man who stood outside the gates waiting to pick me up for the night.

Till i see them again, next year...

Meanwhile, French party and Appreciation Dinner! =))

**updates**

Below is the YOG Friendship Camp that i attended!

Now some of my friends are famous! HAHA...

If i dance...

2009-12-06T03:07:00.000+08:00

Piano blanc sur la plage
Refrain d'une enfant sage
Toi velours fait de sables
Le vent sur mon visage
Et je me souviens
De ces mots qui t'allaient si bien
Mes rêves incertains
Où j'espérai l'amour au rivage
De mes lendemains

Si on danse
En silence
Porter par le souffle du temps
De saisons
En passion
Cet enfant en moi rêvait tant
L'unique instant
D'aimer vraiment...

Tu peux peindre les eaux du bleu de ton regard
Et dans chaque canot près de toi je m'égare
Me laisse emporté par les remous de mes pensées
Mystérieux abbaye où les vagues se meurent à mes pieds
Et font naître mes rêves

Et je danse
En silence
Porter par le souffle du temps
De saisons
En passion
Je veux croire en mes illusions
En mes rêves d'enfant...

Et je danse
En silence
Porter par ton souffle à présent
Pour un jour
Pour toujours
D'autre part font brûler mon sang
Est-ce toi, cet homme là
A qui j'ai crié si souvent
"Rêve moi, une fois"
Il est là peut-être l'amour que j'attendais tant

--------

Not too long ago, i've been awakened into my senses by a man of my dreams. He came one night uninvited, and i could do nothing but to helplessly receive him in the soft vagueness of the dream.

He was, at first sight i knew, the One. The One who could bring me a better life, a better me, a better of everything possible. In a short span of time that i had with him in the dream, i grew fond of him and secretly loved him for being the person that he was. At the end of the dream, he had to go. And so he left.

I never saw him again since i got hooked on a newfound love at the time. I couldn't help but wonder, why didn't he appear in my dreams again? I wanted to convince myself that the man in my dreams was a sign of the newfound love that i would find.

One night, many months later, he appeared again. He dropped by to tell me that he had to leave me, for good. He wanted to leave for some unfathomable reasons he wouldn't care to tell, while i begged him to stay. By his manners and expressions, i knew i could never win him back, no matter how i tried.

Very much later, i broke off with the present love i had.

This story is essentially, not about the break-up. It's about having dreamt of a perfect figure, a wholesome man who you knew, can never exist in our realm. It does not hurt to dream, and sometimes, i secretly wish for him to come back into my nights.

And if he does, i would like to ask him why he had left.

Is it you, that man

whom i have cried so often,

"Dream of me, just once!"

It is there where love is,

which i had been waiting for so much

2009-12-05T01:33:00.001+08:00

One night, as i was revising for my exams, my mum called me out from my room because she said there was some IndoFrench film on the tele. So i went out to see what it was. Lost In Love, apparently. It looked good. There were moderate use of French and i loved hearing the way the actors speak it. I watched snippets of it in between commercials and revision, and thought to myself, i would watch the show on Youtube instead. When i finally got to watching the whole movie, i thought, "What a waste of my time".

The characters though, are really pretty and handsome!

I then watched Eiffel...I'm In Love (a prequel to Lost In Love) and goodness, the movie seriously sucked! Yes, that movie was many years ago, and i missed it. If i thought the above movie was bad, then the first was EVEN worst!

Ahh, no one does french movies better than the French! I have been watching them, and i must say, i quite love most of them! The court metrage (short films) are really very good despite being very short in duration and there's always a little twist behind or a message that is thought-provoking. Anything but mindless.

Alors, tomorrow i've got to go o Hort Park for training! Hopefully i get to meet more interpreters and make new friends. Also, try to improve my translation skills...

2009-12-01T23:37:00.000+08:00

At present i have some anxieties. I've taken a look at the itinerary for the Youth Olympic Games camp, and it's seriously not funny that they assume intermediate french learners to be Facilitators. That's like, the LEADER. Ça alors! I can't even speak without being conscious of my grammar! Comment comme ça?!

2009-11-25T13:30:00.000+08:00

A few things to share.

A message i received on my phone today at 6am.

#1
Assalamualaikum Fadila. Ini ****. Are you in S'pore or Brunei? You tahu tak saturday nyer plan?
Reply: Ape plan saturday? Ini ***** maner?

#2
Ini Fadilah Yasin rite? Ftpss...
Reply: Bukan, ini memang Fadilah tapi bukan ftpss.

#3
Ouh, i think i got the wrong person but with the same name. sori...
Reply: It's ok.

Sidenote: What would i be doing in Brunei now when i've exams surrounding my sorry ass?
Besides having noted that my name is common, i found it such a freaky incident. Life has its own little mysteries.

--------------

I'm officially down for the Youth Olympic Games 2010 and i'm psyched! My friend and i will be helping with some stuffs, probably communication related, as we could correspond with the French athletes. AWESOME!

YOG camp next 2 weeks. HELLO french boys. LOL. (kiddin', db =)) )

-------------

I'm involved in a school-based project for exchange students. Next month, i'll be welcoming new exchange students at the airport! Get them acquainted with sunny S'pore and make them feel at home...

2009-11-23T23:33:00.000+08:00

It had been a good day. It was. It was fun and laughter, a luxury which i might not be able to afford next year. All felt fine and dandy, until my mom called up. She used that one word i despise so much, so much that it hurt me a little.

What she said over the phone made me feel injustice kicking in all over again, and for the umpteenth time, i wanted, with all my heart, to defend myself. But i couldn't. She's my mother.

I wanted to tell her, how i wouldn't have the need to study so hard and be like the others.

I wanted her to know, i wish i couldn't care less about family.

I wanted her to see, all the mistakes she had done.

But i couldn't do it.

Because i am not like the others. I don't want to be.

Because i care, i really do care, about the family. (Whether you realised it or not)

Because i understand your flaws, the same flaws which brought me up a person, that made me grow stronger and aspired to be not the same like you.

Have you ever wondered who am i?

Am i a young, naive child in your eyes?

Do i stand before you, a 20 year old lady, with no sense of aim in life?

Am i like how you judge me to be?

If that's how you judge me still, young, naive and vulnerable, then i think you don't know your own daughter well enough.

And certainly, not well enough to know that her daughter had found herself a decent man.

Not a damned jantan mum, not a damned one. You disappoint me.

Mug1101E

2009-11-20T18:04:00.000+08:00

It's that time of the academic year again - the final exams.

It is unbelievable, the nightlife in the school library that is. It's open 24 hours and there are students studying in the library late in the morning - be it midnight or 4am. Students here are amazing too - they play hard and study hard!

Anyway, i had my share of late night mugging sessions too be it alone or with friends. If there's a sense of solidarity in the air: it's the will and want to excel in the exams.

My first paper starts tomorrow. Wish me luck, guys.

2009-11-19T05:37:00.000+08:00

Reading back my old blog posts, i feel nostalgic and more aware of one fact: Time is closing in on us both and that with what little we have now, i have to remember, capture those moments and store them in my memory bank because it won't be long till things will change.

- One month and a half to go -

what's your lucky number?

2009-11-16T01:58:00.000+08:00

It's 2 in the morning, and i can't sleep because my body is used to sleeping at 3am. Thanks to the week of pulling all nighters trying to complete term papers, my body clock hasn't really adjusted itself to sleeping earlier as i should. I will try, DB. =)

Anyway, i was wide awake, and just few minutes ago from Facebook, i stumbled upon some profile of ex-es of mine. Oh boy - times have changed indeed, as i looked on at photos and reflected back on old memories. Flings were many, serious were few. Commitment and boys are antagonistic, i think.

I'm ashamed to think that i weaved in and out of relationships and flings during teenhood. It was majorly embarrassing, things that happened in the past. What was i thinking? (Yes, exact. I wasn't, that's what.) All those crushes came and went, i wondered if some even exist today.

Well, it took some turns and tries before i finally found the right one. And freakily, i stopped at this one - my lucky number.

So, DB, you're my lucky number ___. ;)))

2012

2009-11-15T00:22:00.001+08:00

DB and I headed down to The Cathay today to catch 2012. It was awesome! It was a free pair of tickets we both won, and we had another free pair whom we gave away to another friend. It was free seating; imagine our delight having to cut the darn long queue, going straight to the ticketing booth and into the theatre! It has been so long since we watch free movies; the last time was during his NS times, when DB always entered and won quizzes/competitions and hence we got LOADS of free movie tickets! It was exciting back then. =)

Anyway, i cried watching 2012. It moved me. The scenes, the emotions, the humanity portrayed within the screen was just too much at times that my tear duct never failed to cease throughout the 2.5 hours show. In the end, DB's poor sleeve was damped. The poor guy.

I asked him, "In 2012, where will we be?".

"Me..in KL. And you...working."
"Don't worry. If the end happens, i'll come down to meet you".

I don't know whether to smack him in the head, or to give him a kiss for saying that.
But, i did the latter anyway.

p.s - if you're interested in the 2012 mumbo-jumbo, do read up on the Mayan civilisation's prediction of the world's end, Nostradamus' prophecies and the galactic alignment. It's very interesting, yet frightening.

p.p.s - the barista at Starbucks was so cute and good looking!!! OMD. (sorry DB! ;) )

2009-11-12T02:32:00.000+08:00

I is weirded out that at 230 am, a man is sharing his sexual life with me.

2009-11-10T11:17:00.000+08:00

Last night, i received news from a friend. It was terrible news to me, that i couldn't help but wept bucketloads thinking about it. This friend is someone whom i would consider a very good friend; she's been sincere throughout our friendship. We graduated from school together, and parted ways thereafter to pursue our own dreams. As chance would have it, she found me a job at her workplace and for some time, we were colleagues. I was glad that she helped out at the time when i was jobless, and needed the money. Few years passed and again, due to commitments, i began to see her less and less at work, with more of me being in university.

Anyway, i decided to talk to her online and see how things have been getting on for her. If i were to take the news positively, then i must say that she's going to embark on a new life. And i ought to be happy for her. But, deep inside me, i grew sad thinking about the memories we had together during our crazy teenage years, and that losing a great friend like her would mean taking away those good memories further.

I do not know if she reads my blog, but if she does, then i would only want to say this to her:

Thanks for being a really wonderful friend all these years. I hope that you'll get what you want in life. It won't be the last goodbye (i hope). Things won't be easy for you, as you told me last night . But i pray that your life path would fall into place someday.

Yours truly,

Fad

2009-11-05T21:03:00.002+08:00

Hi all,

I'm doing a little survey on bargaining practices. Please help me out by filling up the survey ok? It'll take no more than 3 minutes.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=VuZX_2ffp0Uz9C0EYES5_2b5Kg_3d_3d

Many thanks! =)

imma sucker for shakespeare

2009-11-03T00:12:00.004+08:00

This is absolute love.

It's a beautiful rendition of R&J.

Translation will be up soon. =)

**Translation** Here's my try at the song translation.

Aimer - To love

Aimer

C’est qu’il y a de plus beau (That's more beautiful)

Aimer

C’est monter si haut (It is to climb higher)

Et toucher les ailes des oiseaux (And to touch the wings of the birds)

Aimer

C’est qu’il y a de plus beau (That's more beautiful)

Aimer

C’est voler le temps (It is to steal time)

Aimer

C’est rester vivant (It is to stay alive)

Bruler au coeur d’un volcan (Burn in the heart of the volcano)

Aimer

C’est qu’il y a de plus grand (That's more grand)

Aimer

C’est plus fort que tout (It is stronger than all others )

Donner le meilleur de nous (To give the best in us)

Aimer

Et sentir son coeur (And to feel your heart)

Aimer

Avoir les moins peur (To have less fear)

------------

Aimer

C’est bruler ses nuits (That's to burn the nights)

Aimer

C’est payer le prix (It is to pay a price)

Et donner, un sens a sa vie (And to give, a sense to your life)

Aimer

C’est bruler ses nuits (That's to burn the nights)

I think this song captures the essence of love.
The passion, affection and above all, sacrifice.

umbrella boy

2009-10-31T01:21:00.007+08:00

   The sky was tarnished black.
   The air was cool. The light breeze swept
   the night drizzle away to the cobbled pavement.
   The chill was dancing around us, as i wore my jacket,
   and you retrieved your trusty umbrella  from your bag. "Umbrella
   boy," that's what i teased. With a deep breath i took,  i braved the rain
   with you, under the safety of your one umbrella. I smiled. In my heart, i danced.
   I skipped. It distracted me. Your voice was a murmur of strange things. It took me back
   to the first day, the day when i got under the umbrella with you. The red, red umbrella. The

same memory i had came as a flash as i felt your warm arm wrapped around my shoulder. As if to

protect me

from the

rain. I

turned to

   smile at
   you. You
   smiled

back at me.

We knew.

We rem'bered.

Shoulder to

shoulder we

walked thru'

the rain,

side- by-side,

   fallin' step
   into step.   The
   night street by the
   lone road was calm

and quiet.

How i often looked down, eyes meeting gaze with the wet twigs and leaves of the fallen, the soiled dirt of the ground. I want to remember this moment. As we walked on, your hand found its way to my side. That feeling, that feeling of joy. We laughed. We smiled. We remembered our first, under the umbrella, under the rain. How i longed, that the walk was forever.

2009-10-28T19:49:00.000+08:00

In Bana's words, DB is now an "Abang Reservist".

Hhhmm.

I can't see DB as an 'Abang'. I mean, the last i kind of did see that abang2ness was during the recent Hari Raya. He was so dressed up with samping, so abang-abang. It removes that boy image from the equation.

SO, in the way to see more abang2ness in DB, i got him a Davidoff perfume yesterday to mark our 42th month together. He loved it. =) I loved the way it smelt on him too.

Alors, what he got me?

------------------

A printer. Canon All-in-One Printer. =)))

(no, he's not being unromantic. he's being practical because i whined about how my home printer has spoilt! how thoughtful. And sweet. =p )

2009-10-24T22:53:00.000+08:00

My weekend is definitely looking up.

Last night, after tuition, DB surprised me with a visit. I thought he was going home from bowling practise, but apparently, he had rushed over to the centre just to see me. He's going to be away from work for 2 weeks for reservist.

Anyway, his pleasant and surprise visit didn't just stop there. Imagine my shock to see a HUGE box wrapped in a pretty wrapper hidden behind him. It was heavy, and just simply big. We took a taxi home, where he sent me to the lift.

When i got home, i opened up my present. It took me a good 10 minutes to peel away the 4 wrappers used to wrap the present. Yes, i told you it was big.

What was even more surprising was that he gave me an extraordinary gift. Can you guess what it is?

---------------------------

Today, right after a short nap, my family went over to City Plaza to eat at Arnolds'. VERY VERY DELICIOUS. I love it!

After that, we went to United Square Toys R Us because Raiyan needs a halloween costume for his party. However, when i wore those ghoul masks, he started becoming hysterically crazy and frightened to see me. In the end, we did not get to buy him the Dracula's cape. I tried on the Angel's wings. It's very pretty. I think DB likes wings. ;)

Raiyan finally got an Optimus Prime costume set for his Halloween party. What a spoilt brat he is. =p

Then, we walked around the mall. What caught our attention was this candy shop. It's too cute for words! The candymaker was making candy and people were gathering to see how candy is made. I stood, awed that candies are made in ways that i never knew! In the end, Raiyan got some candies. I got a free candy freshly made from the candymaker too! It was peppermint watermelon. I wanna go there someday again, with DB. =)))

Happy days are here. There's more to life than the little things in life that brings you down. Appreciate what you have and you'll find the happiest bit out of each and every memory.

DB, thanks for the wonderful (advanced) 42th anniversary gift. It's very thoughtful of you. I love it, but not as much as i love you too. =)))

nenek keropok?

2009-10-18T20:55:00.000+08:00

I had a second weird encounter today.

I was revising in my room, behind closed doors. Apparently, my sister in law, my bro and my nephew were outside in the living room. Our house door was slightly opened.

Just then, someone gave a faint salam. My sister, who was eating at the dining table, turned scared. She asked my brother to answer the door. Outside the front gate, was an old lady dressed in pink baju kurung and a pinkish tudung. Her complexion, according to my brother was dark and she's short. Her left eye was malfunctioned. It's juling.

She asked my brother if we have got any clothes to give her. Which to me, was weird because she did not show us any keropok. When my brother said no, she quietly left. All this happened around 430pm. I only found out about it 5 minutes later, when i came out of my room to hear the story from my sister and brother.

Out of curiosity, i went back into my room and opened the windows. Right before my eyes, at the block opposite, i saw the nenek going down the stairs, going from home to home. No one opened the door.

--------------------------

Just a while ago at 8 pm, my mother was in the living room with my 2 year old nephew. She wanted to make him sleep. SO, i turned out the living rooms lights except for one tiny corner light.

I then went back into my room to do my work. Just then, my mother called out my name. I came out, stood by the door, and found my mother quietly gesturing at me with her hand. My nephew was on the mattress, quiet as well.

Me: Kenape mak? (Why mum?) Asal mak panggil? (Why did you call?)

Mum: (Quietly gesturing at me with her hand. After a moment..) Dilah, kau bukak lampu semue dalam rumah ni. (Go switch on all the lights in this house.)

I sensed something was amissed, but did it anyway. But i felt that something odd was going on. My mum started reciting some verses aloud this time, while i sat down, seemingly understanding what just happened.

According to her, whilst trying to make my nephew sleep, he was fixed onto something. His eyes darting back and forth, at the same time, he was seemingly offering his pacifier to someone. He did this action several times.

After that, things went back to normal again. I must say, my day is getting weirder by night.

At a side note, did today's encounter got anything to do with the earlier nenek incident?

Can you spell 'weird'?

2009-10-18T11:56:00.000+08:00

It was the weirdest moment in my life.

"Hi, i saw you in the bus just now and i couldn't help but tell you this. You seem very graceful and elegant a girl and i can't help but approach you. My name is ********. I am here to fetch my 'adik' (younger brother) from madrasah in Woodlands. -- Melayu eh? -- So, what's your name? --- Can we go to the shade and talk? --- So, what are you doing here? -- Are you schooling? --- NUS? Wow! I had always wanted to go there or NIE but... -- Well, how do i keep in contact with you? -- Email? Well, i think that most probably we'll be talking more over lunch and so i think it's better that you give your number. -- You don't? Why? -- Are you saying that you're attractive? -- Well why don't you take a guess on my age? -- Hhmm..right after NS, yeah.. -- Yeah about 22/23 there. -- Oh? Well, uh, it's ok i think that attached or not, it's fine to still hang out with other people. My friend does that. -- So you'll be around online? -- Alright, nice meeting you. Bye!"

Hhmm,what in the world was that all about??

not planning is the best plan

2009-10-11T00:38:00.005+08:00

Yesterday was an unexpected date. Who knew, that DB and I were both going to spend a bomb that day?

After breakfast at LJS, off we went to jalan-jalan (walk-walk). I could not resist going into Fox, looking at Bebe displays (which DB thought was horrible this season), grumbling my way out of Esprit, having extreme willpower not to turn my head to Topshop, and many other challenges that tested my shopping faith.

In the end, after having DB patiently waited on me in the changing room and the (only) two salesgirls tending to my whims, i finally walked out with a wide smile with two pairs of Dorothy Perkins jeans. It cost me quite a sum of my previous wage, but hey - jeans form 75% of my daily wardrobe to school and i can't rely on my previous (tight) Levi's nor my faded bootcut pair from Dorothy Perkins of last season. SO IMMA HAPPY GIRL.

What surprised me more, was the fact that DB steered our course and brought me into Springfield. It was not crowded, so we owned the shop. I had him convinced to buy something, like a Tee-shirt, but in the end, an hour of several trips to the changing room resulted in an unbelievably hot long-sleeved hoodie which i insisted was on me, a pair of tight (bum-showing) jeans and a body-fitting tee. That's all about...$240, oui DB? But we learnt, to stretch our dollar. *winks* Shopping buddies, do call us in future =)

After that, DB surprised me again! He accosted me to TCC, but it was a boutique arts gallery cafe. It was my first time there. It was damn posh. Drinks were quite expensive and so were the food. For a snack, we wanted something but changed due to some wine in the dish. SO we settled for this cheesy snack. It was dainty! There were caviar on it. Lip smacking sin!

Life is good when you have money.

Mocha Villa for him, Mint Chocolate Frappé for me. The waitress asked if i wanted a certain liquor with the chocolate, to which DB politely declined for me. Why am i so clueless? DB knows a lot more than i do!

We did something new too..Archery! DB is just too damned pro. He could shoot so well. I guess that's what you get from a marksman? Hhmmph. Then, i have to try to 'up' my skills as well! I need to impress my own boyfriend also, rightt?!

That's all for now! Toodles.

memorable day, au fait

2009-10-09T00:04:00.004+08:00

Virgin Raya celebration with DB! =))))

His Singtel friends. One huge group. US - merah garang, tapi tetap sweeett la katakan. =p

Il y a beaucoup, beaucoup des photographs!!

Banyaknya gambar, i think total 4/5 digi cams plus 1 professional camera.

3 cars in all, a Hyundai, Honda, and Chevrolet. Tailgating one another from house to house. It was fun. =) Last house was the best. Good food, and good studio in the house!

Seems that we both received lots of compliment from others. Looking similar, compatible, having.. "consistency" and perhaps, chemistry. One of them said that couples with a similar face lasts long. I only managed to smile. Amin.

Amacam, ada jodoh ke tak?

p.s - for more pictures, pls proceed to my Facebook! Thousands of photos in there!

mon chat est malade

2009-10-01T23:27:00.000+08:00

If you remembered my cat, Tintin, who had an operation few months ago due to some uterine infection, well...she needs a revisit to the vet this weekend. These past few days, my mother had noticed a puddle of blood in the bathroom. It went on intermittently for the past week, with the mysterious appearance of dark red blood. Just a while ago, mom and i witnessed for real: Tintin had crept into the bathroom, and we watched her peed near the pipe sewer with a pool of blood.

This confirmed our suspicion. Dr. Kodero had told me that there are possibilities of further complications or infections after her last surgery. We expected that to happen within a week or month of the ops, but after almost 3/4 months, we least suspected that such an infection can take place. Thus, this saturday i'll be taking her back to the vet and hopefully our pet vet could help Tintin out. She's a real gem in the house, though quiet and serene on her own. I love her, but not as much as she loves my mum.

-----------------------

And i just got back raya-ing from a relative's house. We shared ghost stories from SG all the way to JB and Yong Peng, scared ourselves and i had to drive home from Marine Parade all the way to BP. I think that's the furthest distance i ever drove in the car.

It was weirdly packed at the highways, and my brother's idea of fun and 'testing' me was to haphazardly cut into my lane at 100 km/h in his Corolla Altis (with me driving at 100 as well), while i screamed a "FUCK" in my head. Oh brother, please do not give your sister a heart attack. Did you know just how close to death we were??

every rat for itself

2009-09-30T20:15:00.000+08:00

Please please please. I don't want to go to the doctor again. It's horrible, horrible.
I want to run away from this present shit-hole called life. But, c'est la vie?

Show me some love.